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A lot of success coaches and motivational speakers tell you to THINK BIG. They tell you to create a big vision in order to succeed. And I agree - having a big vision is necessary to accomplish big things.

At the same time, even big things are compiled of multiple smaller components - and so I find myself coaching clients to think small instead.

Whenever you are in a tight spot in life, it is especially important to focus on the goodness of life at the present moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet. This is the perfect time to appreciate what you do have now instead of focusing on fear or lack.

Being laid off is a case in point. If you are out of work and have been for some time, it may be difficult to think about the perfect job or the ultimate contribution you want to make in the world. At this stage of the game, you may just want a paying job... it’s time to think small.

This bleak season will pass. Make the most of it by finding ways in which you can make a difference. Spend more time with loved ones, help the children with homework, plant some flowers. You can teach yourself a new skill or take a local adult education class. Join a Meet Up group. Being unemployed may feel like a permanent condition. The fact is, it is a season that will surely pass. You are not going to be out of work forever, so take advantage of the time you have now!

Whenever a project feels huge, it’s time to think small. If the size or complexity of a project overwhelms you, focus on just the next few itty bitty steps. Locate the phone numbers you need to call... schedule the time to make the call. Outline the chapters of the book you want to write...commit to writing just one chapter a month. Unclutter one drawer rather than thinking about uncluttering the whole house. Baby steps will get you there.

Even in business, there’s a place and time for thinking small. When thinking big, we often complicate things with too many ideas… and we overwhelm ourselves.

No matter where you are in life, there is always something you can do. If you cannot tackle big things now, don’t dither in indecision - start with something small! Here are a few pointers to help you take a step forward:

1.  Pick just one or two things to focus on each day. I find that most clients are trying to do too much in too little time. As a result, few things get completed. If you commit to one or two things daily, you’ll get more done and feel less stressed.

2.  Revel in little things. Go out and literally smell the roses. Slow down and appreciate your surroundings. Taste your food instead of inhaling it. Have meaningful conversation instead of passing interactions.

3.  Scale down. Get rid of physical clutter as well as mental clutter. Review your obligations and decide if they still serve you. Do you need to withdraw from some? Clear your mind by doing a brain dump: put your ideas, to-dos and tolerances (those things you are tolerating) down on paper. Prioritize what you will do and what you won’t, and tackle them one at a time.

4.  Focus on being great at what you do, rather than being the biggest or best. If you shift your focus to being great, you’ll begin to do things from a place of excellence instead of overwhelm.

5.  Allow extra time for everything you do. If writing a letter will take ten minutes, allow yourself twenty.  That way, you build buffer time into your day to cope with unexpected events. If you finish in less time than that... go watch the clouds!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com.

Most of us have days when we feel stressed out, overloaded or unappreciated; when the batch of responsibilities we juggle aren’t noticed or rewarded; when dragging ourselves out of bed requires Herculean effort. If you feel like this most of the time, however, you may be flirting with burnout.

While everyone experiences stress, it does not have to lead to burnout. Stress has to do with too much: too many demands on your time and resources, leading to physical depletion.

 

Burnout has to do with too little: too few reserves left to cope effectively with life challenges, leaving you feeling emotionally and mentally empty. Burnout happens as a result of exposure to long-term, chronic stress without appropriate support or coping mechanisms.

When running on empty, it is tempting to grab a quick fix like coffee, candy bars or some high-powered energy drink and keep going. Instead of reaching for an artificial energy boost, burnout means it’s time to find more appropriate ways to support yourself. If you take proper action now, you can interrupt the downward spiral of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, and turn it around before it causes real damage.

Dealing with burnout requires a three-step approach:
•    Recognize the warning signs of burnout
•    Reverse the damage by managing stress and seeking support
•    Resilience – build long-term resilience to stress with proper self-care at levels of body, mind and spirit.

Step 1: Recognize the warning signs of burnout:

You may be on the road to burnout if:
•    Your state of mind is marked by not having enough: not enough time, resources, energy, enthusiasm, motivation or caring; instead, you feel all dried up and emptied out.
•    You’re feeling physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted or drained.
•    Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches or changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
•    You disengage from people, activities and interests that you would normally enjoy.
•    You’ve lost your sense of confidence and faith. Instead, you're focusing on shame and doubt, feeling shaky in the present and insecure about the future.
•    You struggle with a sense of loss: loss of control, loss of goals and ideals, loss of motivation or loss of your ability to cope.
•    Your emotions become blunted: You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated, so why bother?
•    You feel increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, angry or resentful.
•    You feel like you have nothing more to give, and you are stuck in a no-win situation.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life – including your home and social life. It can also wreak havoc on your health: constant stress has been shown to suppress the immune system, cause chronic inflammation in the body, and make you more susceptible to a host of illnesses. When long-term stress turns to frustration, anger and resentment, it can lead to hardening of the arteries. High blood pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular complications, even heart attacks and brain attacks (or strokes) are potential health risks. Prolonged stress over time also impairs your hormonal and biochemical systems, influencing neurotransmitters such as serotonin that support mood stability.

Step 2: Reversing Burnout

Before throwing up your hands, remember, burnout is not for wimps. A lot of folks reach the advanced stages of burnout because of their sense of responsibility and dedication… taken just a bit too far.

If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself, it’s time to take action. You can prevent further breakdown, provided you make some important changes. Remember that it will only get worse if you leave it unattended. By taking steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown. Here are some to get you started:

•    Slow down.
By the time you reach the later stages of burnout, adjusting your attitude or taking some vitamins won’t be enough to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect and heal.

•    Get support.
When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden. Seek out professional support to help you change unhealthy habits and find the way forward.

•    Reevaluate your goals and priorities.
Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly. 

•    Acknowledge your losses.
Burnout brings with it many losses which can go unrecognized. Common losses include:
     Loss of your idealism or dreams
     Loss of your role or identity in life or in society
     Loss of physical and emotional energy
     Loss of friends, fun, and a sense of community
     Loss of esteem, self-worth, and a sense of control
     Loss of the joy, meaning and purpose that make life worthwhile

Unrecognized loss traps a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize them and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

Step 3: Build Resilience

 

To prevent yourself from slipping into burnout again, you need to build resilience to stress by taking excellent care of yourself at the levels of body, mind and spirit.

•    Start and end the day with a relaxing ritual.
Rather than jumping into or out of bed, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.

•    Adopt healthy eating, exercising and sleeping habits.
When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to better deal with life’s demands.

•    Set boundaries.
Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests for your time without feeling guilty. Remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things you truly want to do.

•    Take a daily break from technology.
Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email. This strategy does wonders to help me recharge after an intense week!

•    Nourish your creative side.
Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work, and let go of trying to be perfect when engaging in them.

•    Learn how to manage stress.
You may feel helpless when facing burnout, but you have a lot more control over stress than you think. Learning practical techniques to manage stress can help you regain equilibrium.

If you are prepared to make these adjustments, burnout can be a powerful incentive to find more clarity, balance and fulfillment in your life.

 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.  

There is a world of difference in the approaches to healing found in western allopathic medicine and in traditional Chinese medicine.  In the Western world, physicians are trained to separate mental, physical and emotional symptoms to address the root cause of an illness. In contrast, Chinese medicine views the patient as a whole, with all aspects interrelated.

Clearly, there is a time and a place for each approach; often, the best approach is a combination.  Numerous medical studies in the west have shown the correlation between emotional health and physical ailments such as heart disease, cancer and autoimmune disorders. 

In Chinese medicine, feeling any emotion intensely is considered an imbalance. When there is balance among mind, body and spirit, every experience is processed in a natural, fluid way. This allows one to experience the full range of emotions without getting stuck in any one area. Stuck emotions block energy flow and can lead to illness.

Chinese medicine associates each organ with an emotional spectrum. To restore balance in the body, an organ or system is treated along with the predominant emotion linked to that particular organ.

For example, the kidneys are associated with strength and willpower - and on the negative end of the spectrum, with fear. The lungs and respiratory system are connected to our sense of order and stores a range of emotion that can range from perfectionism at one extreme to grief at the opposite end.  The liver supports planning and decision-making - skills needed to manage life well. At the far end of the spectrum, the liver also stores feelings of anger. The heart represents the center of body and soul; the emotions associated with this organ range from sadness to joy. The stomach can store emotions ranging from sympathy to worry.

These emotional-physical ties are not quite as simplistic as presented here to illustrate the principle.  In practice, it takes into consideration a number of other interrelated factors that assist in identifying areas of imbalance and restoring balance to all levels of being.

At its core, traditional Chinese medicine holds that all disease indicates a need for change in one of three basic areas of life - physical, emotional or lifestyle.

When we resist this need or do not know how to make the necessary change, it sets up conflict that expresses as symptoms of illness. By facing the issues that life brings your way and being willing to address them, you can eliminate energy drains and blockages.

This comprehensive approach offers many valuable guidelines to promote health and well-being in body, mind and spirit. A few of these concepts are offered here - integrating some of these concepts into your life can reward you with more balance and well-being.

Live in harmony with the seasons. The winter months are valuable for rest and rejuvenation; in the spring, we ramp up activity. Summer is an appropriate time to expand and expend energy in many activities, while in autumn we can benefit by slowing down, evaluating and retreating from excess activity.

Follow the light.  Before the invention of electricity, people got up at sunrise and went to bed soon after sunset.  This instinct to follow light is a good one - it has been shown to increase longevity and protect health.  Early morning exercise can increase cellular oxygen and boos the metabolism all day long for increased productivity.  By evening, it is helpful to switch to relaxing activities that allows one to unwind and prepares the body for sleep.

When illness sets in, respect your body and mind - take time off to heal.  Instead of popping medication at the first onset of a cold, for instance, it is a good idea to tough it out (within reason, of course). Let the cough and congestion run their course naturally, so your body can rid itself of pathogens and toxins. Use natural substances such as water, whole fresh foods and spices to strengthen your body and provide the resources required for recovery.

Recognize that disease may be happening for a reason. Illness may be an indication of working or playing too hard, or of lack of proper self-care.  Use the symptoms of disease as a wakeup call to review behavioral or lifestyle patterns, and make the necessary adjustments to restore balance.

Remember, true healing always involves increasing awareness. Illness is a call and an opportunity to evaluate your internal state. Medication may sedate painful symptoms, but true healing requires you to evaluate the choices that brought you to your current situation so that you can make different choices. Are you heartsick about something... suffering from anxiety... or feeling stuck in a work or relationship situation?  When you identify the issues that are creating toxicity in your life, you can make healthier choices to help you heal in every way.

Use daily reflection as a conscious tool to balance your energy. Think about what things are truly important to you and how you are using your energy to work toward those goals. Differentiate between essential needs and things that don’t really matter.  This process will free up your time and energy to focus on what truly matters in your life. 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

With every passing day, we are observing unsustainable practices crumbling in the socio-economic environment around us.  Systems built on misplaced values of greed and selfish advancement at any cost, are dissolving through internal collapse because the dissonance between them and their environments have become too big to gap: they are not able to re-invent themselves, or to adapt to the changes of the environments in which they operate.   

And because societies, companies and systems are made up of people, the same dissonance is reflected among individuals as well.  Look at the people around you and listen to what they have to say.  You’ll quickly learn that most people are not really enjoying life fully.  They are stressed out about one or more areas of life; feeling isolated; at a loss about what is happening in their world or what to do next; and afraid, very afraid. 

In fact, many people are trapped in no-win situations or environments that are not sustainable - in their careers, businesses, relationships, finances, health – because it holds no real purpose or meaning for them. 

And so they suffer as a result. Their spirits are dampened, their creativity blocked, their true self-expression suppressed and their lives mired in overwhelm, frustration, over-consumption, over-medication, isolation and apathy.

Are you one of them?

If this scenario strikes a chord, I want you to keep reading, because you are not alone!  It is time to realize what is really happening, so you can focus your efforts on restoring a healthy resonance between your inner life and your external environment.  By applying these principles to your life, you can move from apathy and inertia into creating a meaningful existence with life again.

If you have slipped into entropy, apathy or overwhelm, it is most likely not because you’re are a loser but because you are stuck in situations that hold no real meaning for you, environments that do not support your personal growth, or circumstances that have pulled out of alignment with your core values. 

To change it around, you need to first take a hard look at your external environment.  Even with great determination, skill and effort, your environment will win out in the long run.  I am reminded of this every spring when I observe how the desert sun in Arizona scorches the tender wildflowers as soon as they run out of moisture.  

You have an important part in designing your immediate environment because you have an on-going dialogue with it: you are continuously adapting to it (dressing for the temperature or adapting to the emotional atmosphere at work or home), while the environment is reflecting back who you are.  However, the adaptive process (over which you have most control) is fast, while the reflective process of your external environment takes more time – and this is very important to understand. 

When you start making changes in your inner world, your external environment may continue to reflect the old status quo for a while yet, creating a temporary sense of dissonance.  This is the process we are experiencing in society at large at present because the external environment is still reflecting back to us ways of operating that many of us have outgrown; it is also the cause of the dissonance you experience in your personal life when you have outgrown certain situations.

To regain harmony, you need to restore a greater sense of resonance between your external environment and your inner self.  To change your external environment, you may need to make a physical change to align with an environment that is more supportive of who you have become, who you are now. Perhaps you need to let go of friends who drag you down into old behavior, or you need to step out of an abusive relationship at work or home. 

For some people, making this change is asking too much.  They are too afraid of the unknown, afraid of the effort it may require of them. And so they stay in an unsupportive environment while complaining about it to everyone who’s willing to hear.  Remember, the environment will win out in the long run if you don’t do anything about it!

The next step is to change your internal relationship to your environment.  This is the most powerful aspect because you have complete power over your internal choices, whereas you have less influence over your external environment. This inner work is at the core of all personal growth.

Changing your internal relationship with your environment is going to take a lot of effort – there are no short cuts to glory here.  On the positive side, the payoff – increased peace, harmony, joy, energy, clarity, self-respect, personal empowerment, satisfaction and meaning in life – is its own reward!

To navigate the internal terrain, here are some aspects you need to address to restore resonance with your environment. 

Refocus

Refocus on your goals and the rules or values at your core. As you do this, an inner sense of integrity, empowerment, peace and meaning will return to your life. When there are no discrepancies in your value systems, decision-making will come easy and you will be able to align with environments that support instead of suppress your evolution.

Purpose

You are the only person who can define what your life needs to look like to feel successful and to be meaningful.  For a moment, imagine you are at the end of your life, reviewing the life you’ve just lived.  What is the single most important accomplishment in your life?  What is the core accomplishment or experience that makes or would make your life a life well lived? What is it that one thing you wish to create, experience, do or have?  When you connect with the deepest desire at the core of your being, it will bring focus and impact to everything else you do.

Clarity

Next, what are the things in your life that bring your joy?  Even if you can think of just one thing, reflect on it until you see why it brings you this sense of joy.  Is it playing with your dog because it makes you feel unconditionally loved; or spending time nurturing family members where you feel that you are making a valuable contribution?  Identify what brings you joy and why; then start looking for ways to nurture more of that in your life.  When there is clarity around what brings joy – and therefore meaning - to your life, you will enjoy the effort of working toward it, instead of feeling overcome by inertia.

Awareness

Observe animals in the wild and you will notice how fully present they are in each moment.  For them, it is a matter of life or death.  For you and me, the process ultimately leads to the same outcomes and yet we are not always aware of it. Each moment of our waking lives, we make choices that either move us toward a fuller expression of life or deaden the life force in us.  To make optimal choices, it is essential for us to become fully present and aware in each moment.

Stay present

Stay present in the moment; discipline your mind and bring it back when it wanders off into a future fraught with hypothetical scenarios of fear and uncertainty (“What if I lose my job?,”  “What if I get cancer?,” etc.)  Fact is, the future is not created yet and by letting fear-filled thoughts run rampant in your mind, you are creating probabilities that do not serve you well!  Likewise, ruminating about the events of yesterday serves no purpose other than distracting your focus and draining your energy.  At the end of each day, do a thorough self-inspection of the events of that day; forgive those who have hurt or let you down; ask forgiveness for those areas where you have not lived up to your highest potential; resolve how you are going to make different choices around those issues so as not to repeat the same cycle; and then let them go. Stay in the present – this is the only time where you can bring about meaningful change.

Be resourceful

When faced with the challenges of life, don’t limit your options.  Choose to respond differently; choose to find more than one way of looking at things.  Broaden the scope of your perceptions to include possibilities you may not have entertained before.  Consider all the options you can think of before narrowing down your choices – you’d be amazed at how this simple exercise opens up the possibilities!

Banish self-judgment and negative self-talk

When you indulge in self-judgment and negative self-talk, you are really replaying the old tapes of others’ criticism and judgments that you have internalized.  These behaviors are really self-destructive forms of attack.  Stop it!  You would not think of attacking the Divine Presence in you, so why would you attack the human aspects that need healing? Healthy introspection acknowledges limitation and failure without judgment, and offers you the opportunity to change behaviors that no longer serve you.

Maintain respect

If your actions were made public, would you retain your self-respect?  Society commonly condones acts of greed and dishonesty, as long as the perpetrator does not get caught. Tolerating such lack of integrity undermines respect for self and others. Do only that which you would respect in another, and that which you would not mind being made public.  When you maintain respect, you are strengthening the foundations of your life.

Keep playing

The game of life is not over until the final breath.  Don’t give up at half-time or because you’ve just fumbled the ball.  Don’t let one bad move knock you out of commission – get back in and give it your best!  Change the things that don’t work and focus on what does work.  Give thanks for the breaks along the way and keep at it until the final moment!  Miracles and breakthroughs often come at the most unexpected times, but you have to be in the game to benefit from it.

Take time to address the aspects in your personal life and environment that need support. Working with even just a few of these aspects will help you restore a sense of resonance between your inner life and your external environment so you can be the difference our world needs now!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com

Burning Bright Without Burning Out
By Ada Porat

News reports remind us daily of the needs of vast populations around the globe, compelling us to do something about it, to make a difference in the world around us.

It is an innate human trait to help where and how we can. And yet, the needs of loved ones and friends can feel overwhelming at times.

How much should you do?

In responding to calls for help, how do you find balance between burning brightly and burning out? What puts you at risk for burning out, and how can you best prevent it?

Burnout can be described as a mismatch between an individual and their environment that causes long term distress. We are most at risk for burning out when there are mismatches between the reality of life as it is and our expectations around it. In other words, we can get so caught up in the process of doing that we lose sight of the big picture and forget why we got involved in the first place.

We may get so caught up on the process that we don’t make time for rest, regeneration and connection with our Higher Self and others. When this happens, we lose the delicate balance between external needs and our internal sense of purpose and identity. In our efforts to meet external needs, we neglect the most important need of all: the need to stay connected to our inner truth.

In burnout, we find joy smothered by the heaviness of negative emotions. Instead of enthusiasm, we start feeling powerless and lose our drive. And unless we realign with our core values, expectations, and support system, stress can reach levels that manifest as declined performance, physical ailments or conflict in relationships. Life appears unmanageable and our problems overwhelming.

If this description sounds familiar, don’t despair! It is not the circumstances that have changed to project gloom and doom, but the perceptions of the mind in burnout. It is important to recognize that you alone are responsible for giving too much for too long, resulting in this state. Now that you are aware of it, you can make new choices to rekindle the flame of passion for life!

When one’s life force energy burns brightly, life looks completely different. We find that our thoughts, emotions and actions flow easily from our alignment to a Higher purpose. We feel energized by the activities of life and are so engrossed in the moment that time literally flies by. We are filled with the positive attitude of “can-do” that leads to positive achievement. We are renewed by hope, dreams, confidence and faith – in short, we are in love with life! And because we move with the flow of life, we feel connected to everything around us.

How do we recover from burnout or better yet, become immune to its insidious effects? The answer can be captured in one word: realignment. Recovery from burnout requires that we look at where we strayed off the path of alignment to our innate rhythm and balance, so we can navigate our way back. Recovery requires of us to reconnect with three core areas: our values, expectations and support community.

Realign with your values

Take time out to clarify why you are so involved. Are you doing it from a place of guilt, duty or because others expect you to? If so, it is time to clarify what your own purpose and values are. True happiness and fulfillment come when we live in alignment with our core values, because our values drive our behaviors. When our actions are not in alignment with our core values, it leads to friction and stress. We often rationalize that we will take care of our own needs after we have met the needs around us, when in reality it should happen the other way round. We need to align with our values first; then we can reach from that place of personal strength to help others.

Realign your expectations

Are you involved because others expect it of you? Decide who is responsible here – you are not responsible for another’s life, choices, or lack of responsibility. Instead, you are responsible for your own life, including the choices you make. Let go of the illusion that you can control circumstances and outcomes. Know what is feasible for you to contribute and do those things; then let the others go! You are not responsible for everything, so let go and let God. By letting go of unrealistic expectations, you conserve your energy and power to focus on what you can do.

Realign to your support system

People and activities that allow us to simply be, have great restorative value. It is important to stay connected with people who know you well. They can give support and encouragement when you are running on empty, or serve as a neutral sounding board at the end of a rough day. Plan time to reconnect with your inner child and leave the cares of adulthood behind for a time of carefree play. Go for long walks and reconnect with the restorative power of nature. Take time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life: eat, laugh and dance. Let the rhythm of simple activities restore your soul. Take time out to nurture your soul through prayer, meditation or contemplation. Banish negative self-talk from your life. Instead, engage in positive self-talk and affirmation of your abilities.

When you take time to renew yourself in these three areas, you will find yourself better able to live in the moment. Your light will shine brightly to bring hope, laughter and comfort to others. And in the process, let that radiance splash all over you as well!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

By Ada Porat

On a recent flight, I had an interesting conversation with a fellow passenger. She told me about the difficulties she was facing, having to return to the workplace after many years as a stay-at-home mom. She had been living off the insurance settlement from an accident, but recently had to drain this fund to cover medical expenses and she could no longer make ends meet.

Although she had been well-educated and successful in the workplace earlier in life, she now was at a complete loss about what to do. Should she return to teaching, or apply for a job in a bank, or just take a part-time job in real estate, she wondered. Clearly, she was confused.

I asked her what type of activities made her feel happy and alive.

“Oh, I love being with people, doing creative things, and being a part of the action,” she said.

I asked her if there were any opportunities in her home town where she could work with people doing creative things while earning a living.

“Oh yes,” she said, “There is a wonderful program at the Arts League that offers creative workshops. In fact, I volunteer there two days a week.”

She continued, enthusiastically telling me all about the innovative programs the league offered, and mentioned that they were looking for a new creative arts director.

“Have you applied for the position?’ I asked.

She looked at me with an expression of horror. “Oh no,” she said, “If I do that I’ll have to get up early in the morning – I could never do that any more. It’s too inconvenient!”

Clearly, there was something amiss with the priorities in her life. She felt stuck, yet every option she considered, was quickly dismissed as being too inconvenient, too low-paying, or lacking in some other area. She was victimized by her own confused priorities.

Our conversation left me reflecting on the confusion I so often observe in clients when they are faced with major decisions.

That confusion is rooted in a lack of clear priorities. When our needs, wants and desires all clamor to be met, we are often at a loss about what to do. In the confusion, it is easy give in to the desire for instant gratification and indulgence. Unfortunately, such choices do not bring long-term satisfaction or results.

Clearly, we need some guidelines for the important decisions in our lives.

The most important decisions in your life should be made not by what is convenient, but by what is appropriate. The appropriate decision may be downright inconvenient, yet it could be essential to moving forward. The passenger on the flight had all the skills for the position she described, yet she was not willing to move beyond her comfort zone to get out of her financial dilemma.

Being willing to face inconvenient truths and to take appropriate action, is an important first step. But how do you know what is appropriate for your situation?

The appropriate choice will always be aligned with your core values, not with the endless desires of the ego. It is your core values that drive your behaviors; they determine what you need to do, say or align with to ensure inner harmony. When your choices align with your core values, you will experience inner congruence even in the face of adversity because you are being true to your core.

Decision-making is actually easy when there are no discrepancies in your value system. To make empowering choices, it is necessary to understand your core values. Whenever your choices are not aligned with your core values, you will feel dissatisfied with the outcome in the long run. You will also find it difficult to stand your ground when the going gets tough, because you won’t be prepared to make sacrifices for things you don’t really believe in.

Here are some pointers for appropriate decision-making:

Recognize that every choice has an impact on your life.

Every decision either carries you toward your ultimate life purpose, or acts as a diversion. Ask yourself if your decision is taking you closer to your ultimate goal. If not, it is a distraction, no matter how good it feels or how much you want it! Releasing the distractions in your life will move you closer to your ultimate life purpose.

Discover your core values and honor them.

Your core values drive your behavior. Take time to identify the values that drive your life. Do you strive for honesty at all times, or is it more important for you to have harmonious relationships with others? Are you motivated by your inner truth, or by a sense of accomplishment? Defining your core values is one of the most important exercises you can do. Then, make choices based on your core values; not on shoulds, coulds, woulds, musts or wishes.

Always honor your integrity.

Place your integrity first, your needs second and your wants last. In such a priority system, your choices will honor the spiritual core of your Being. Alignment to your spiritual core acts as a powerful attractor field to draw into your life helpful people, synchronicities and situations. In this way, your needs will always be met! Christ gave his followers that assurance when He said, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Let your Higher vision clarify your intention.

Before making important decisions, take time to reflect on your ultimate intention. What is your true intention? Would your intended choice cause harm to others? (I am not referring here to upsetting their egos!) Remember that your soul is ultimately interested in your growth, not in maintaining your physical comfort zone. Alignment with Higher vision will give you a sense of inner peace and confidence; not necessarily convenience or comfort.

Get comfortable with change and chaos.

Change is an inescapable part of life, and it can be chaotic. There is no guarantee that making the appropriate choices will bring you instant reward or success. In fact, sometimes the choice to honor your inner truth will ruffle feathers around you! Honoring your truth may not be comfortable for some, because the light of truth tends to expose the dust bunnies of pretense and illusion.

Never mind! Ultimately, making the appropriate choice is its own reward. Living in integrity with your values aligns you with your Inner direction and the Source of your power. When you honor that Guidance in your daily decisions, life really rocks!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

by Ada Porat

“I'm so busy! I just don't have the time.”  That seems to be what I hear from everyone, myself included. We are all so busy... running around non-stop with more things to do than we could ever get to... We spend all our waking hours working on our “To Do” list without finding time for things that would nurture us best.

I speak with a lot of people daily, and “not having enough time” is such a constant refrain that I’ve had to ask myself -- why are we all so busy?

It may be because we are caught up in a society of go, be, do. We are so busy going places, being involved, doing things… always running.  We seem to be locked in a race against time, yet we are the very ones who create all the reasons to run around and then feel stressed!

The bottom line is that we always have a choice.  We made the choices that got us over-committed in the first place, and we have the power to change that also.

One of the best tools for sorting through our over-stuffed commitments is honest evaluation.  Before accepting or scheduling that next activity, how about asking yourself these two questions, and answering them as honestly as you can:

1.  What will this activity give me that I don’t have now?

You say you need that second job to pay your bills? Perhaps stretching yourself so far is an indication that the 72” inch TV is not really a life necessity, or wearing the latest fashion is not worth sacrificing your health and relationships for…

2.  How will it affect my life emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically if I decline this activity?

At times, the lure of a better lifestyle or of keeping up with others’ expectations can blind us to the very things that we cherish most: our health, relationships with loved ones, those precious years while our children are around.  No amount of riches can restore these to us once they are lost.  Is the price we’re paying truly worth it? Perhaps we would be happier by scaling back some and having more time to spend with family and friends...

In the practice of mindfulness, we are reminded to take each action consciously: to eat consciously, to walk consciously, to do everything from that state of mind. We can cultivate that consciousness by looking at life the way we treat vacation... when on vacation, we savor each minute, even when we just lay back and relax.  In a very real sense, we are merely visiting Planet Earth -- we don't know for how long -- so let’s savor each minute of this visit, taking stock of our lives and finding the time to appreciate the beauty around us.

 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com

This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

Seven Steps To Success
by Ada Porat

1. Clarify Your Goals

Spend time thinking about what you want. What does your desired goal look like? How will it make you feel? How will it enrich your life? By creating a clear picture of your desired outcome, you develop a blueprint for success!

2. Declare Your Intention

Intention is a powerful force to put to work for you. When you commit to the realization of your goal, you create an attractor field that starts drawing to you the people and circumstances needed to make it a reality. Once you’ve decided what your desired goal looks like, declare your firm intention to yourself, to the Universe – and to the apparent obstacles along the way!

3. Use Positive Affirmations

Where attention goes, energy flows. It's easier to create your desired outcome when you use positive statements and self-talk. Positive affirmations nurture the desired outcome instead of feeding doubt and fear.

4. Tune In To Intuition

Take the time to become still and listen to your inner guidance as while navigating toward your goal. You intuition is a powerful ally that can alert you to opportunities or pitfalls. For some people, this shows up as a ‘gut feeling’ and for others it takes the form of an inner prompt. As you honor your intuition, you will find that it becomes fine-tuned.

5. Ruthlessly Resist Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts have a way of choking the life out of the positive seeds we plant. Don’t allow negative images of failure and self-pity to rob you of the fruits of your creative process! When a negative thought sneaks up on you, replace it with a positive statement.

6. Take Action

A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. What action could you take now to start the ball rolling on reaching your goal? Make that phone call, write that e-mail; apply for that position - take the first step in the direction you wish to go!

7. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

You don't have to postpone happiness until you have achieved all your goals. You can be happy now by taking time to notice and give thanks for small miracles in your life: a valuable lead, a brilliant sunset, a supportive friend. Learn to appreciate the journey toward the goal and not just the goal itself.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

by Ada Porat

A simple word search for life balance on Google turns up over 98 million references. That is one hot topic!

People are looking for balance, and here’s one reason why: A recent global study from www.HRlook.com says that the global workforce has stopped striving for a healthier work-life balance, with less than a quarter of respondents putting their private lives before work.

Is life balance even possible in modern society? Amid the material wealth of the industrialized world, the struggle for balanced living has reached pandemic proportions. Never before in history have we had so much and enjoyed so little.

We long for balance yet take on more commitments; we dream of bigger homes but have smaller families; we pride ourselves on the size of our networks yet have fewer friends; we consume more vitamins yet are in poorer health, our life force drained by stress and anxiety. We are bombarded with information and the constant pressure of trying to keep up. So much to do, so little time! Clearly, our lives are over-segmented and off-balance – and we pay the price with less satisfaction and happiness.

Life balance is about choice – and the choice is yours!

To restore balance to life, we need to place enough value on ourselves to motivate us toward change. A life review is a great place to start. By reviewing each core area of life, we can clean out what no longer serves us and start integrating the neglected aspects of our lives again. By doing that, we step off the treadmill of chaotic living to a life filled with meaning and purpose.

A life review can start with an honest assessment of the core areas of life: your work, home environment, family & friends, spirituality, physical health, recreation and financial health. Ask yourself what the three most stressful or unsatisfying aspects are in each of these areas and jot them down.

You also need to know what you would like your life to look like. In other words, what is your vision for your life and what does life balance look like for you? Identify three aspects that you value, or would like more of in each of the core areas.

By doing this simple exercise, you will quickly discovery which areas are in need of balance in your life – these tend to be the areas where it hurts to look! You can add more balance to you life by eliminating even just one stressful activity, or by adding more of something you truly enjoy.

Balanced living is not about achieving perfection in one area of life but of finding equilibrium overall. This holistic, integrative approach allows you to feel nurtured even if you have to put in long work hours for work to meet a tight deadline, because you know that you have scheduled time to recharge with loved ones after the project is completed.

There are many different interpretations of what life balance looks like. For some of us, an unbalanced checkbook is just fine, while for others it violates their very existence. Each of us needs to clarify what we need to feel balanced, and then we need to start working towards that goal.

I often help clients look at all their responsibilities and obligations in order to reduce or eliminate those that no longer serve them. We also work on learning to say “no.” So often, I find that people say “yes” out of misplaced obligation or politeness, when what they really want to do is say NO. No, they cannot bake ten dozen brownies for the bake sale; no, they don’t want to sit on the homeowners’ association board of directors; no, they don’t want to give up a weekend to attend a distant relative’s anniversary.

At the start of each day, every one of us receives exactly the same allotment of time. What we do with that time, will determine our level of satisfaction, accomplishment and success. In choosing how to spend our time and resources, we make decisions about how to spend energy - the primary resource of life.

Borrowing from an old recycling slogan, I use three steps to assist me in the process:

1. Reduce

Do I really need this activity, item or commitment in my environment? Do I absolutely love this in my environment? Do I need as much of it to feel satisfied, fulfilled and secure? If not, it’s time to reduce my participation to make space for more fulfilling things! A good example would be setting boundaries to reduce the number of hours I work per week, or turning off my work phone when spending leisure time with loved ones.

2. Re-use

How does this activity contribute to my personal fulfillment or quality of life? Can I adapt it to better serve my goals? Can I get the same or similar benefit from a different activity? Instead of skipping gym because I am bored with the workout and then feel guilty about it, I can switch to a different type of exercise that would give me the same benefit without boredom or guilt.

3. Recycle

Have I outgrown this activity, item or commitment? Perhaps it has served the purpose long ago and I have been holding on to it out of guilt or habit! If so, it needs to go to free up space for something more appropriate. Many of our social commitments fall in this category.

When we look at life as an integrated whole, it is clear that balance can be achieved by each of us. It ultimately is an inside job – an inner strength that enables us to flow with all the things that happen from without, ensuring inner equilibrium in the midst of outer change.


©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.