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“Every option seems to have a down side. How do I know what’s best? I just don’t know what to do,” a friend recently complained.

My friend was caught in a quandary familiar to many of us. After losing a well-paying job and pounding the pavement for months to find another, an excellent opportunity had just come up – but it required moving out of state. Now a decision had to be made: stay on unemployment and hope for something to turn up locally, uproot the family to accept the offer out of state… or consider something in-between?

Every option offered potential benefit as well as the potential risk of failure. The conversation reminded me of something I read many years ago when I faced a similar dilemma:

Decision-making is easy when there are no discrepancies in your value system.

The fact is, there are decisions to be made every moment of life: Over time, these choices tend to unfold as failure or success, fulfillment or disappointment, or any of the myriad choices in between. So how can we optimize decision-making and minimize the downside?

A clear understanding of your core values will help you choose well at the decision-making junctions of your life. These inner values and your emotions around them form part of the immediate content of the decision-making process. Awareness of your core values makes it easier for you to make choices in harmony with those values.  If you value being able to provide for your family, you will find it easier to make the sacrifices necessary (such as working out of town for a while) than if you deeply cherish the comforts of the known.

By the way, I have found that most people who cling to the comfort and security of their known environment, are doing so from fear: fear of the unknown, fear of failing, fear of making mistakes. If you want to make great decisions, you first need to evict fear from your life. It is a dream killer and a useless waste of energy!

Effective decision-making looks at the content as well as the context of the situation.

Your inner world of values and desires constitute the immediate content of your decisions. Beyond that inner world of content, effective decision-making also requires you to consider the external context of your choices. In other words, there are factors in your external environment that need to be taken into account: in the example above, my friend needed to consider the timing of the job offer, the overall conditions in the job market, the other opportunities out there, and how a decision might impact the family.

Without taking external factors into consideration, even great decisions can lead to failure.

Powerful decisions require you to be truthful.

Decisions based on inner truth lead to inner empowerment. Choices that compromise your truth, lead to conflict and confusion. 

It is helpful to remember Socrates’ observation that each of us chooses what we believe to be optimal, given our level of awareness and insight at the time. Our choices create a resonant frequency field which attracts resonant energies and repels dissonant frequencies. Over time, this quantum attractor field draws particles of probability into becoming possibilities, eventually manifesting as our reality. Our thoughts and choices eventually manifest as things, so it behooves us to focus on truth!

You cannot live an authentic life by dishonoring your inner truth. There comes a time for each of us when we must choose to honor our truth and let the chips fall where they may. As Marianne Williamson has said, our playing small does not serve the world!

The Course in Miracles teaches that Truth is not frail. Truth can withstand the demands of the ego. It can surmount the envy, misperceptions and judgments of others, because it needs no defense.

True power lies in choosing from within, from the strength of having owned your fears, from the gentleness that you carry with grace. Each time you choose to honor your truth, you are creating more resonance to empower you on your journey.

A great way of drilling down to your true intention, is by asking yourself powerful questions. Answering these questions will help you face patterns of self-sabotage, fear or compromise so you can make clear decisions. Author Debbie Ford outlines great questions in her book, The Right Questions. Here are a few:

•    Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or keep me stuck in the past?
•    Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or short-term gratification?
•    Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
•    Am I looking for what is right or for what is wrong?
•    Will this choice add to my life force or rob me of energy?
•    Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow or as an excuse to beat myself up?
•    Does this choice empower or disempower me?
•    Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
•    Is this an act of faith or is it an act of fear?

Powerful decisions require involvement of body, mind and soul.

Finally, sound decision-making requires you to listen to the subtle message of your being at all levels. To listen to all aspects of your being, it is most helpful to cultivate healthy connections among your body, mind and soul. Each of these levels of communicates with you in different ways. Remain aware of your spiritual core guiding you through the physical challenges of life, and you will become most effective at decision-making. Take time for meditation or contemplation. It will help you stay centered and at peace.

Once you have made a decision, stay flexible and embrace ambiguity. As additional information surfaces, you may want to adapt to it. Remember, change is usually a messy process! Flexibility makes it easier to release unrealistic expectations and to adjust to new information so you can optimize your decisions.

 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.  

A lot of success coaches and motivational speakers tell you to THINK BIG. They tell you to create a big vision in order to succeed. And I agree - having a big vision is necessary to accomplish big things.

At the same time, even big things are compiled of multiple smaller components - and so I find myself coaching clients to think small instead.

Whenever you are in a tight spot in life, it is especially important to focus on the goodness of life at the present moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet. This is the perfect time to appreciate what you do have now instead of focusing on fear or lack.

Being laid off is a case in point. If you are out of work and have been for some time, it may be difficult to think about the perfect job or the ultimate contribution you want to make in the world. At this stage of the game, you may just want a paying job... it’s time to think small.

This bleak season will pass. Make the most of it by finding ways in which you can make a difference. Spend more time with loved ones, help the children with homework, plant some flowers. You can teach yourself a new skill or take a local adult education class. Join a Meet Up group. Being unemployed may feel like a permanent condition. The fact is, it is a season that will surely pass. You are not going to be out of work forever, so take advantage of the time you have now!

Whenever a project feels huge, it’s time to think small. If the size or complexity of a project overwhelms you, focus on just the next few itty bitty steps. Locate the phone numbers you need to call... schedule the time to make the call. Outline the chapters of the book you want to write...commit to writing just one chapter a month. Unclutter one drawer rather than thinking about uncluttering the whole house. Baby steps will get you there.

Even in business, there’s a place and time for thinking small. When thinking big, we often complicate things with too many ideas… and we overwhelm ourselves.

No matter where you are in life, there is always something you can do. If you cannot tackle big things now, don’t dither in indecision - start with something small! Here are a few pointers to help you take a step forward:

1.  Pick just one or two things to focus on each day. I find that most clients are trying to do too much in too little time. As a result, few things get completed. If you commit to one or two things daily, you’ll get more done and feel less stressed.

2.  Revel in little things. Go out and literally smell the roses. Slow down and appreciate your surroundings. Taste your food instead of inhaling it. Have meaningful conversation instead of passing interactions.

3.  Scale down. Get rid of physical clutter as well as mental clutter. Review your obligations and decide if they still serve you. Do you need to withdraw from some? Clear your mind by doing a brain dump: put your ideas, to-dos and tolerances (those things you are tolerating) down on paper. Prioritize what you will do and what you won’t, and tackle them one at a time.

4.  Focus on being great at what you do, rather than being the biggest or best. If you shift your focus to being great, you’ll begin to do things from a place of excellence instead of overwhelm.

5.  Allow extra time for everything you do. If writing a letter will take ten minutes, allow yourself twenty.  That way, you build buffer time into your day to cope with unexpected events. If you finish in less time than that... go watch the clouds!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com.

Most of us have days when we feel stressed out, overloaded or unappreciated; when the batch of responsibilities we juggle aren’t noticed or rewarded; when dragging ourselves out of bed requires Herculean effort. If you feel like this most of the time, however, you may be flirting with burnout.

While everyone experiences stress, it does not have to lead to burnout. Stress has to do with too much: too many demands on your time and resources, leading to physical depletion.

 

Burnout has to do with too little: too few reserves left to cope effectively with life challenges, leaving you feeling emotionally and mentally empty. Burnout happens as a result of exposure to long-term, chronic stress without appropriate support or coping mechanisms.

When running on empty, it is tempting to grab a quick fix like coffee, candy bars or some high-powered energy drink and keep going. Instead of reaching for an artificial energy boost, burnout means it’s time to find more appropriate ways to support yourself. If you take proper action now, you can interrupt the downward spiral of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, and turn it around before it causes real damage.

Dealing with burnout requires a three-step approach:
•    Recognize the warning signs of burnout
•    Reverse the damage by managing stress and seeking support
•    Resilience – build long-term resilience to stress with proper self-care at levels of body, mind and spirit.

Step 1: Recognize the warning signs of burnout:

You may be on the road to burnout if:
•    Your state of mind is marked by not having enough: not enough time, resources, energy, enthusiasm, motivation or caring; instead, you feel all dried up and emptied out.
•    You’re feeling physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted or drained.
•    Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches or changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
•    You disengage from people, activities and interests that you would normally enjoy.
•    You’ve lost your sense of confidence and faith. Instead, you're focusing on shame and doubt, feeling shaky in the present and insecure about the future.
•    You struggle with a sense of loss: loss of control, loss of goals and ideals, loss of motivation or loss of your ability to cope.
•    Your emotions become blunted: You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated, so why bother?
•    You feel increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, angry or resentful.
•    You feel like you have nothing more to give, and you are stuck in a no-win situation.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life – including your home and social life. It can also wreak havoc on your health: constant stress has been shown to suppress the immune system, cause chronic inflammation in the body, and make you more susceptible to a host of illnesses. When long-term stress turns to frustration, anger and resentment, it can lead to hardening of the arteries. High blood pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular complications, even heart attacks and brain attacks (or strokes) are potential health risks. Prolonged stress over time also impairs your hormonal and biochemical systems, influencing neurotransmitters such as serotonin that support mood stability.

Step 2: Reversing Burnout

Before throwing up your hands, remember, burnout is not for wimps. A lot of folks reach the advanced stages of burnout because of their sense of responsibility and dedication… taken just a bit too far.

If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself, it’s time to take action. You can prevent further breakdown, provided you make some important changes. Remember that it will only get worse if you leave it unattended. By taking steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown. Here are some to get you started:

•    Slow down.
By the time you reach the later stages of burnout, adjusting your attitude or taking some vitamins won’t be enough to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect and heal.

•    Get support.
When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden. Seek out professional support to help you change unhealthy habits and find the way forward.

•    Reevaluate your goals and priorities.
Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly. 

•    Acknowledge your losses.
Burnout brings with it many losses which can go unrecognized. Common losses include:
     Loss of your idealism or dreams
     Loss of your role or identity in life or in society
     Loss of physical and emotional energy
     Loss of friends, fun, and a sense of community
     Loss of esteem, self-worth, and a sense of control
     Loss of the joy, meaning and purpose that make life worthwhile

Unrecognized loss traps a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize them and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

Step 3: Build Resilience

 

To prevent yourself from slipping into burnout again, you need to build resilience to stress by taking excellent care of yourself at the levels of body, mind and spirit.

•    Start and end the day with a relaxing ritual.
Rather than jumping into or out of bed, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.

•    Adopt healthy eating, exercising and sleeping habits.
When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to better deal with life’s demands.

•    Set boundaries.
Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests for your time without feeling guilty. Remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things you truly want to do.

•    Take a daily break from technology.
Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email. This strategy does wonders to help me recharge after an intense week!

•    Nourish your creative side.
Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work, and let go of trying to be perfect when engaging in them.

•    Learn how to manage stress.
You may feel helpless when facing burnout, but you have a lot more control over stress than you think. Learning practical techniques to manage stress can help you regain equilibrium.

If you are prepared to make these adjustments, burnout can be a powerful incentive to find more clarity, balance and fulfillment in your life.

 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.  

“I can’t seem to focus long enough to get unstuck.” This is one of the most common complaints I hear from clients these days.

There are some good reasons why we have difficulty focusing on what is most important to us. With increased levels of hi-tech connectivity, smart phones continuously alert us to incoming e-mails, tweets, text messages and alarms. We are surrounded by electronic media streaming news and information from around the world - and the sheer volume of information can be overwhelming. Add to that the increased pace of life, the challenges of making a living, and the never-ending demands for our time, money and resources – it can get overwhelming.

So what goals should we focus and how do we sustain that focus?

Without clear focus, people commonly go into reactive mode; instead of initiating the change they wish to see, they react to what is happening to them. Amid an endless onslaught of distractions, we can easily spend days without focusing on our true agenda. And we end up losing out on the joy of living a purpose-directed life. Author Deepak Chopra expressed it thus, “The events on the surface of your life distract you from the deeper work of soul-making.”

I have learned that when someone makes the decision to get focused, there are several things that can help support a lasting shift. Here are a few nuggets you may find useful:

Choose To Live Your Life With Purpose. When you work toward something positive, as opposed to running from or being driven by fear, you quickly build up momentum. Why are you here? What do you want to learn, do, experience or share? What’s on your bucket list? If you haven’t created a mission statement for your life, then do it now. It will give you a vision bigger than yourself to focus on when the going gets tough. My mission statement for life is posted right above my computer, where I am reminded of my purpose every day.

Set Priorities. Once you have clarified the mission statement for your life, identify specific related priorities you want to focus on. Next, break those down into smaller chunks until they don’t feel so intimidating and you can envision yourself doing them. 

Focus On One Goal. Still feeling overwhelmed? Overwhelmed most often happens because we try to juggle too much. When overwhelm hits, you can counteract it by simplifying your priorities even more. Break down your action steps or To-Do list items until you can identify the single most important goal to focus on for this hour, this morning or this day.

Analyze Why You Lose Focus. Knowing yourself better allows you to identify what gets in your way, so you can step back and look at these issues in a more detached, objective way. Instead of getting frustrated that there isn't enough time in the day or getting swept up in the flood of activities, dig down inside to discover what is pulling you in and recognize that you can choose a different response. Clear out old limiting beliefs, slash the sabotage programs and dare to create new rule sets that work for you now!

Pay Attention. Learn to observe how you spend your time and stop wasting time on unworthy projects. If your teenager had a big test tomorrow and you saw her doing everything except study, you'd probably have a talk with her about timely preparation and focus. Do the same for yourself! Set one goal for yourself each day to help you overcome procrastination. Start small and review your success every night to reinforce your accountability to your goals.

Slay The Dragon First. Start your day with the thing you avoid the most and get it done. This one principle really moves me forward. Once I have the most dreaded thing out of the way, the rest looks like cake; I’m a dragon slayer, after all!

Stop Interrupting Yourself! Do yourself a favor – turn off the phone or computer ding and disable the pop-up box that tells you, “You’ve got mail!” Instead of losing valuable time and energy by diverting your attention to check on messages, you will have more energy available to focus on the task at hand.

Feed Your Soul. Feeding your soul requires you to detach from the surface world of activity – even if just for twenty minutes a day. It’s during that time of stepping back from the activity at the surface of life and reconnecting with your identity as a timeless soul, when solutions to problems become blindingly obvious. It’s called inspiration – and it arrives when your mind is still, whether in relaxation, contemplation or meditation. One of the most prominent benefits meditators experience from their practice is becoming more focused in their daily activities. Meditation also boosts your intuitive abilities to recognize true priorities and make better decisions. Whatever, your spiritual practice of choice, recognize the importance of feeding your soul, and hence, your creativity.

Do A Brain Dump Before Bed. I write down my “To Do” list at the end of my work day as a part of reviewing the day. Writing it down clears my head and when I wake up in the morning, the list is ready for me to get focused right away.

Stick With It. Whatever you do, don’t give up! Even if you feel discouraged today, don’t give up. All of life consists of energy cycles that ebb and flow. Think of your life as a long journey and the present problem as just a little bump in the road. If you can stick with it during the rough times, just imagine what you could accomplish when you get the wind from behind! Remind yourself that it is progress that matters, not perfection.

And A Few More:
•    Distinguish between what’s important and what is simply urgent.
•    Eliminate unnecessary activities and physical clutter; they stop up your life and drain your energy.
•    Reduce your overhead – financial burdens drain your energy and your vitality.
•    Do projects when they align with your vision and purpose, not because you feel obligated
•    Don't say yes to anything right away; reserve the right to sleep on it.
•    Share your goals with a few trusted friends so they can support you and hold you accountable.
•    Acknowledge your progress and celebrate your successes!

Applying even just a few of these tips will bring about noticeable changes in your life right away. By applying them over time, you will feel more productive, energized, and focused!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com  This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.