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A lot of success coaches and motivational speakers tell you to THINK BIG. They tell you to create a big vision in order to succeed. And I agree - having a big vision is necessary to accomplish big things.

At the same time, even big things are compiled of multiple smaller components - and so I find myself coaching clients to think small instead.

Whenever you are in a tight spot in life, it is especially important to focus on the goodness of life at the present moment. The past is over and the future is not here yet. This is the perfect time to appreciate what you do have now instead of focusing on fear or lack.

Being laid off is a case in point. If you are out of work and have been for some time, it may be difficult to think about the perfect job or the ultimate contribution you want to make in the world. At this stage of the game, you may just want a paying job... it’s time to think small.

This bleak season will pass. Make the most of it by finding ways in which you can make a difference. Spend more time with loved ones, help the children with homework, plant some flowers. You can teach yourself a new skill or take a local adult education class. Join a Meet Up group. Being unemployed may feel like a permanent condition. The fact is, it is a season that will surely pass. You are not going to be out of work forever, so take advantage of the time you have now!

Whenever a project feels huge, it’s time to think small. If the size or complexity of a project overwhelms you, focus on just the next few itty bitty steps. Locate the phone numbers you need to call... schedule the time to make the call. Outline the chapters of the book you want to write...commit to writing just one chapter a month. Unclutter one drawer rather than thinking about uncluttering the whole house. Baby steps will get you there.

Even in business, there’s a place and time for thinking small. When thinking big, we often complicate things with too many ideas… and we overwhelm ourselves.

No matter where you are in life, there is always something you can do. If you cannot tackle big things now, don’t dither in indecision - start with something small! Here are a few pointers to help you take a step forward:

1.  Pick just one or two things to focus on each day. I find that most clients are trying to do too much in too little time. As a result, few things get completed. If you commit to one or two things daily, you’ll get more done and feel less stressed.

2.  Revel in little things. Go out and literally smell the roses. Slow down and appreciate your surroundings. Taste your food instead of inhaling it. Have meaningful conversation instead of passing interactions.

3.  Scale down. Get rid of physical clutter as well as mental clutter. Review your obligations and decide if they still serve you. Do you need to withdraw from some? Clear your mind by doing a brain dump: put your ideas, to-dos and tolerances (those things you are tolerating) down on paper. Prioritize what you will do and what you won’t, and tackle them one at a time.

4.  Focus on being great at what you do, rather than being the biggest or best. If you shift your focus to being great, you’ll begin to do things from a place of excellence instead of overwhelm.

5.  Allow extra time for everything you do. If writing a letter will take ten minutes, allow yourself twenty.  That way, you build buffer time into your day to cope with unexpected events. If you finish in less time than that... go watch the clouds!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com.

Most of us have days when we feel stressed out, overloaded or unappreciated; when the batch of responsibilities we juggle aren’t noticed or rewarded; when dragging ourselves out of bed requires Herculean effort. If you feel like this most of the time, however, you may be flirting with burnout.

While everyone experiences stress, it does not have to lead to burnout. Stress has to do with too much: too many demands on your time and resources, leading to physical depletion.

 

Burnout has to do with too little: too few reserves left to cope effectively with life challenges, leaving you feeling emotionally and mentally empty. Burnout happens as a result of exposure to long-term, chronic stress without appropriate support or coping mechanisms.

When running on empty, it is tempting to grab a quick fix like coffee, candy bars or some high-powered energy drink and keep going. Instead of reaching for an artificial energy boost, burnout means it’s time to find more appropriate ways to support yourself. If you take proper action now, you can interrupt the downward spiral of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, and turn it around before it causes real damage.

Dealing with burnout requires a three-step approach:
•    Recognize the warning signs of burnout
•    Reverse the damage by managing stress and seeking support
•    Resilience – build long-term resilience to stress with proper self-care at levels of body, mind and spirit.

Step 1: Recognize the warning signs of burnout:

You may be on the road to burnout if:
•    Your state of mind is marked by not having enough: not enough time, resources, energy, enthusiasm, motivation or caring; instead, you feel all dried up and emptied out.
•    You’re feeling physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted or drained.
•    Frequent headaches, back pain, muscle aches or changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
•    You disengage from people, activities and interests that you would normally enjoy.
•    You’ve lost your sense of confidence and faith. Instead, you're focusing on shame and doubt, feeling shaky in the present and insecure about the future.
•    You struggle with a sense of loss: loss of control, loss of goals and ideals, loss of motivation or loss of your ability to cope.
•    Your emotions become blunted: You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated, so why bother?
•    You feel increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, angry or resentful.
•    You feel like you have nothing more to give, and you are stuck in a no-win situation.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life – including your home and social life. It can also wreak havoc on your health: constant stress has been shown to suppress the immune system, cause chronic inflammation in the body, and make you more susceptible to a host of illnesses. When long-term stress turns to frustration, anger and resentment, it can lead to hardening of the arteries. High blood pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular complications, even heart attacks and brain attacks (or strokes) are potential health risks. Prolonged stress over time also impairs your hormonal and biochemical systems, influencing neurotransmitters such as serotonin that support mood stability.

Step 2: Reversing Burnout

Before throwing up your hands, remember, burnout is not for wimps. A lot of folks reach the advanced stages of burnout because of their sense of responsibility and dedication… taken just a bit too far.

If you recognize the warning signs of impending burnout in yourself, it’s time to take action. You can prevent further breakdown, provided you make some important changes. Remember that it will only get worse if you leave it unattended. By taking steps to get your life back into balance, you can prevent burnout from becoming a full-blown breakdown. Here are some to get you started:

•    Slow down.
By the time you reach the later stages of burnout, adjusting your attitude or taking some vitamins won’t be enough to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect and heal.

•    Get support.
When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden. Seek out professional support to help you change unhealthy habits and find the way forward.

•    Reevaluate your goals and priorities.
Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly. 

•    Acknowledge your losses.
Burnout brings with it many losses which can go unrecognized. Common losses include:
     Loss of your idealism or dreams
     Loss of your role or identity in life or in society
     Loss of physical and emotional energy
     Loss of friends, fun, and a sense of community
     Loss of esteem, self-worth, and a sense of control
     Loss of the joy, meaning and purpose that make life worthwhile

Unrecognized loss traps a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize them and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

Step 3: Build Resilience

 

To prevent yourself from slipping into burnout again, you need to build resilience to stress by taking excellent care of yourself at the levels of body, mind and spirit.

•    Start and end the day with a relaxing ritual.
Rather than jumping into or out of bed, spend at least fifteen minutes meditating, writing in your journal, doing gentle stretches, or reading something that inspires you.

•    Adopt healthy eating, exercising and sleeping habits.
When you eat right, engage in regular physical activity, and get plenty of rest, you have the energy and resilience to better deal with life’s demands.

•    Set boundaries.
Don’t overextend yourself. Learn how to say “no” to requests for your time without feeling guilty. Remind yourself that saying “no” allows you to say “yes” to the things you truly want to do.

•    Take a daily break from technology.
Set a time each day when you completely disconnect. Put away your laptop, turn off your phone, and stop checking email. This strategy does wonders to help me recharge after an intense week!

•    Nourish your creative side.
Creativity is a powerful antidote to burnout. Try something new, start a fun project, or resume a favorite hobby. Choose activities that have nothing to do with work, and let go of trying to be perfect when engaging in them.

•    Learn how to manage stress.
You may feel helpless when facing burnout, but you have a lot more control over stress than you think. Learning practical techniques to manage stress can help you regain equilibrium.

If you are prepared to make these adjustments, burnout can be a powerful incentive to find more clarity, balance and fulfillment in your life.

 

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com. This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.  

Disasters and upheaval happen in every life. You may have been spared the trauma of earthquakes, terrorist attacks or civil war. Instead, you may be facing work layoffs, mounting debt, or a devastating medical diagnosis. You may feel stuck working at a job you hate but can’t leave because of current market conditions, or you may feel stuck in a seriously dysfunctional relationship. When trauma strikes, it is common to feel overwhelmed, helpless and scared in a world that seems to spiral out of control.

The intensity of your emotional response to a present setback may seem out of proportion to the level of the event, because the current event may have triggered an avalanche of past trauma memories or  flashbacks. Your ability to deal with setbacks depends on many factors, including your natural resilience or ability to cope with stress, the severity of the trauma, and what kinds of support you got from family, friends and professionals immediately afterwards.

When setbacks leave you feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable, it may be tempting to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. These substances may temporarily make you feel better, but they make things worse in the long run. Substance abuse worsens many symptoms of trauma, including emotional numbing, social isolation, anger and depression. It also interferes with treatment and can add to problems at home and in relationships.

As news of disastrous events continue to unfold worldwide, it is more important than ever to sharpen your coping skills at physical, emotional and spiritual levels. It is up to you to put together your own disaster-preparation kit, so that you can be resilient in navigating winds of change.
 
Here are some positive coping strategies to help you get through times of major upheaval:

Recognize that you may be grieving. Grief is a natural part of the life cycle that follows loss. You may find yourself cycling back and forth through five major stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Cycling through the stages of grief is normal – you are not losing your grip on reality. Allow yourself to grieve for the parts of life that you have lost, and take comfort in knowing that this process will come to completion in due time.

Honor your losses. Loss can show up in many ways. You may have lost your job, a relationship, a loved one, friends, pets, your home, possessions, your dreams, health, or your quality of life. Try writing about your loss or create a ritual to express your sense of loss. Rather than expecting to just "get over it" and move on with your life, take time to honor and affirm your losses - it is a valuable part of the healing process.
 
Talk to someone for support. It is important not to isolate yourself. Instead, make efforts to be with supportive people that you have carefully identified as safe. Face the challenges in your life and identify the most important problems. Then get help from safe friends, family members or professionals to help you address these so you can move past them.
 
Find your new normal. When life as you knew it ends, you may feel as if your entire infrastructure has collapsed, and rules of your previous world no longer hold true. You may find your emotions swinging from one extreme to another, and temporarily lose your sense of what’s normal. When your personal world falls apart, it is important to remember that you are not alone, weak, or crazy. It helps to know your problems are shared by many others who have experienced – and survived - similar setbacks.
 
Break things into manageable chunks. When feeling too scattered to focus, recognize that your mind is trying to cope with your situation the best it can. Instead of putting yourself down or fearing that you are losing your mind, take positive steps to regroup. Slow down. Give yourself time to focus on what you need to learn or do. Write things down and make “To Do” lists. Break tasks down into smaller, manageable chunks. Set one realistic goal or task for each day. And get help if you need it.

Take time out when angry. The stress that accompanies major setbacks can create irritability and anger. This can affect your self-control, health, and relationships. Anger can increase your heart rate so much that you cannot think clearly. Remember that staying angry doesn't work. It actually increases stress and can cause health problems. Burn your anger off in the gym or get professional help to learn how to manage it more effectively.
 
Reconnect to positive emotions. After a major setback, many people have trouble feeling or expressing positive emotions. They may even feel guilty for surviving while others did not. This is a common reaction to trauma. It is not helpful to feel guilty for something you did not want to happen and cannot control. Instead, shift your focus to gratitude for surviving and resolve to live in the present.
 
Practice helpful thinking. Monitor your thoughts. If they cause you to feel stuck or helpless, focus on generating more helpful thoughts. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I can't do it," challenge yourself with questions such as: "Is it really true that I can't do it?" "Is it ALWAYS true?" "Under what circumstances could I do it?" "Could I do it if I had some help?" Then select a more helpful thought. In this case, you might say to yourself, "With the right help, I can get through this."

Take time to relax. Consciously choose to focus on something positive in your life to help you relax. Some helpful activities include mental calming with progressive relaxation, mindfulness meditation, or conscious breathing; physical exercise such as swimming, walking or yoga; spiritual activities such as prayer, chanting or singing; and other healing activities such as listening to quiet music, spending time with pets or being in nature.

Reach out to help others. Helping others in need or volunteering in your community can make you feel better about yourself. It can relieve stress by taking your mind off your own problems for awhile, and may help you see them in a different light. Providing support for others can also make you feel more connected and empowered.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com.  This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

It is a scientific fact that the space around objects is not empty or void; instead, it consists of a cauldron of seething energies or potentialities also known as the zero point field. Any observable effects (such as inertia and gravitation) are merely electromagnetic phenomena resulting from interaction with this field.

Albert Einstein found it is this Field which governs the shape of matter. Physicist Max Planck called this invisible field the matrix. Today, it is also referred to as the Divine Matrix, the Energy Field, or the Life Force. This matrix is the Field that is accessed in prayer, miracles and healing of all types.

This Field not only contains the potentialities of life; it interfaces and shapes our biology through the intricate workings of the mind. Your interaction with this Field governs your individual function and healing at all levels. Wouldn’t you love to enhance that exchange?

To maximize your interaction with the Field, it is essential to recognize that there are two separate parts to your mind: the conscious mind is your creative mind and connects to your identity; while the subconscious mind is equivalent to an Ipod - it simply records your thoughts, actions and emotions, and plays them back.

Another critical distinction concerns the hugely different processing speeds of the two minds. The conscious mind processes information in a linear, serial format. The subconscious mind, on the other hand, processes information in a parallel format faster than the speed of light – its information processing is estimated to be one million times more powerful than that of the conscious mind!

On a daily basis, your subconscious runs your physical functioning around 95% of the time. While you think, work, play, rest or engage in conscious activities, your subconscious keeps your systems functioning so you can stay alive. In a positive scenario, this is great.

However, the subconscious can also get you into trouble. It may just as easily run negative programming because it does not distinguish between good or bad; it simply records and plays back the information you give it.

You may have heard of the placebo effect in medicine, where positive thoughts and attitudes generate healing even when a placebo is administered instead of a proven medication. The placebo effect accounts for some 33 percent of healing in western medicine.

The flip side of the placebo effect is known as the nocebo effect, where negative thoughts and attitudes create negative outcomes. Noted brain scientist Dr. Daniel Amen calls such habitual patterns ANTS, or Automatic Negative Thoughts. Research shows that as much as 70% of the average person’s thoughts are negative and recurring. To get positive outcomes, it is essential to change habitual thought patterns from negative to positive.

How do you do that?

For many years, positive thinking seemed to hold big promise to bring about effective change. Today, the limitations of this approach are obvious because of a better understanding of how the mind functions. Effective change comes about not by arguing the point in the conscious mind, but by changing the programs running in the subconscious mind. In other words, if you don’t like the information playing back from your subconscious Ipod, it may be time to change the programs you’ve recorded there.

To change the programs in the subconscious, you need to do more than positive thinking – you need to bypass the conscious mind. You see, positive thinking is a creative thought formed and held by the conscious mind. Whether you dream of that red sports car you desire, visualize yourself driving that car, or create a vision board to attract that car, you are creating from the conscious mind. Whenever you are creating with the conscious mind, you are pitting the serial processor of your conscious mind against the powerful parallel processor of your subconscious mind.

If your subconscious conditioning is not in alignment with your goal because it says that you don’t deserve it or are unworthy of it, you are stacking your best efforts against an instrument one million times more powerful – and guess who’s going to win?

Another fact to take into consideration is the relatively low activity level of your conscious mind. Research shows that your conscious mind is operating only about five percent of the time, leaving most of your daily functioning to the resources of the subconscious!

Unless your beliefs are in agreement at the levels of the conscious and the subconscious both, your positive thinking will not work. To maximize positive results, it is therefore essential to find congruence between the two minds.

Your conscious mind can run any aspect of your body, including involuntary functions such as your heart rate. However, its capacity is very small because it is a serial processor; it cannot focus on all aspects of function simultaneously. For that reason, the subconscious tends to take over automated functions to free up the conscious mind for creative thinking.

Whenever your mind is not focused on some specific task it floats into daydreaming, and your subconscious takes over to run the show. Even when your conscious mind is focused on the past or future, it is not noticing what the subconscious is doing. Whenever your conscious mind is busy or distracted, it is unaware of the automatic negative thoughts and programs running in the subconscious that can hurt it.

Subconscious behavior manifests whenever you are distracted or preoccupied with other things. Others may recognize the shifting patterns in your behavior, yet you are oblivious. Whenever you operate from the subconscious, you are being run by programs you are unaware of! How does this serve you – or not?

If life doesn’t work for you, you may want to blame the outside world; instead, it is your subconscious programs that need to be looked at. First the bad news: The discrepancy between what you consciously want and what shows up, comes from programs driving your life at a subconscious level. Looking for causes outside yourself and blaming them for your life outcomes, is a cop out.

The good news is that you can change your outcomes because your own subconscious mind is responsible for creating your outcomes. You can change your life by changing the programs in your subconscious mind!

Today, there is an amazing range of resources available to you to start deprogramming and reprogramming your subconscious mind. Behavioral Kinesiology, the Sedona Method, Matrix Energetics, Theta Healing, and Emotional Release work are some highly effective methods that come to mind. They work because they offer ways to bypass the conscious mind and to clear the limiting recordings in the subconscious.

Are you dialoguing with your problems or arguing with yourself in your head? If so, save your energy for better things! You cannot argue or dialogue with the subconscious because it is merely an instrument that records and plays back data, it is not a person. Perhaps you are begging for God to come and rescue you from your life?

No more! It is up to YOU to push the stop button and change the recordings in your subconscious! Instead of complaining about your life, you can learn how to effectively clear and align your subconscious mind.

You have an innate ability to heal yourself. And yes, you can heal your life as well – but only when you take back your power from the institutions and people you gave it to. It is time to reclaim your inherent power to create, to heal and to transform!

Your subconscious is continuously recording what you think, feel and say. Likewise, your genes are turning on or off through the power of your conscious and subconscious mind, creating sickness or health in response to your thoughts.

Your mind can create great outcomes or limitations. It’s your choice, so step into the Field of possibilities and choose your thoughts wisely!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com  This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

I've been reflecting on the powerful current of transformation that is whipping through our lives right now. Can you feel it? Many of us are being asked to change in unprecedented ways. The message from the Universe lately seems to be that change is inevitable whether by choice or coercion: which would you like?

Far-flung and deep-reaching changes affecting every form of life on the planet challenge us to face the myriad ways in which we have meticulously disconnected ourselves from our environment, ourselves, and each other.

When the worldwide economic crisis first unfolded two years ago, the conventional reaction was to armor up with protection to survive. That armor may have taken on the form of denial, withdrawal or attack.  Some of us chose to pretend that the stark realities of life simply don’t exist and therefore don’t require a response from us – resorting to a pathological form of mind of matter. Some bunkered down and withdrew from the flow of life, nursing their deep-seated fears and anxieties from a place of isolation. And others found temporary solidarity in finding scapegoats to blame: the government, the president, big companies, and the like.  

While offering temporary respite, these three reactions all avoid the need to take personal responsibility.  It is a bit like eating cheesecake every day and then blaming someone else for the fact that you have gained ten pounds!

None of these approaches are effective, because they remove us from personal responsibility and dunk us into a place of powerlessness. In order to effectively respond to crisis, we first need to acknowledge our part in it.  Each one of us has participated to some extent in the actions, individually and collectively, that brought us to this place.  Only when we accept this reality as our baseline, can we start making appropriate choices to move ourselves and the collective into a more appropriate direction.

The responsibility-avoiding tactics of denial, withdrawal & attack do not make us immune to chaos and crisis. Instead, they incapacitate us from being proactive and keep us stuck in the role of victim.  When we block out reality around us, we also block out the potential for meaningful change.

Meaningful change requires that we honestly face what is, so that we can choose how to respond in proactive ways instead of reacting blindly. We need to stop asking why, and accept the current reality which is. The paradox is that we need to first have a conscious awareness of a situation in order to be able to address it. And that process requires that we let our guard down and take the blindfold off.  

When we navigate through life consciously, something remarkable happens.  We see the hardship and we feel the pain of circumstances, but we are able to reach through these to connect with the Divine Presence beyond. In the midst of crisis and change, we are able to sink beneath the appearance of crisis to reach a deep awareness of inner peace.  In the midst of chaos and upheaval, we can sense our connection to the Eternal Source.  And from that place, we can respond to circumstances from a place of faith, instead of reacting from a place of fear.

What does an appropriate response look like?  It needs to address the factual content of the challenge and it needs to honor the integrity of the context. An appropriate response may require you to get more factual information upfront.  It may require that you listen to your gut or your inner guidance. It may require that you face some very unpleasant facts: facing up to personal mistakes made, or acknowledging areas of neglect in your life. It may require that you assess your life and get rid of energy drains: areas of unnecessary conflict or relationships that you have outgrown to create space for other options. It may require that you ask for help from a trusted friend, therapist or other professional.  It may even require that you extend yourself outside your comfort zone: short-selling your home or looking for additional work to supplement your income.  An appropriate response may include some or all of these steps, yet it will be driven by faith and not by fear.

Times of crisis and change offer us opportunities for unprecedented growth. What initially feels like a cycle of dying to the old, eventually gives way to a rebirth.  The quality of rebirth depends on how you process the cycle of death and release.  In my own life, I have experienced this cycle of death and rebirth many time, including the past year.  This universal law of death and rebirth applies to all of us - so keep the faith during the cycles of death and decline in your life. Rebirth is sure to follow!

During times of chaos and upheaval, it is normal to feel a sense of disconnection and fear. We have a choice over how we will respond. We do not need another layer of reactionary denial, withdrawal or attack to protect us.

A healthier response is to consciously participate with this cycle of death and change by letting go of the old ways, things and situations that have outlived their purpose. 

We can open our hearts wider, cultivate our faith and reconnect to our Higher truth.  From that place, we can respond proactively to the powerful current of transformation sweeping our planet.  When the old has been cleared away, rebirth is sure to follow.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com  This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

Asking for help is not something we do naturally. Instead, we often choose to ignore pain, hope for a better day, or wish for a miracle... while avoiding the core issue! 

Reaching out for help may feel like a cop out - the way of the weak. In a society that worships power, needing help can be associated with vulnerability, weakness or shame; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. If you have already tried everything you know and the situation has not shifted, you may need external input.

We all have strengths in some areas and challenges in others. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.

Life is about learning and growth – and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.

When you reach out and ask, you are acknowledging the interconnectedness of life. You also open up to the possibility that help is available and that there are answers out there, often exceeding your highest hopes! Here's how to get help when you feel stuck:

The help you need is more likely to arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?

Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.

It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support you and strengthens interpersonal ties.

When you ask for help, you open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, you expand your own growth and awareness.

By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, you reclaim your power! Your greatest gifts lie just beyond the things you fear the most – so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions.

Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how  to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain vast amounts of energy and resources.

Recognize that you deserve a helping hand. We are all in the school of life together, and when you ask for help, you are offering others an opportunity to demonstrate what they have already learned. In supporting one another, we all benefit and grow.

Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, you’ll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.

Go to someone you trust. If they don’t have the answer, they’ll likely know someone who does.

Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, “I need your help.” Simple and to the point!

Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you don’t understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.

Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, you’ll benefit!

When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might be able to pass along the information to someone else in need.

The next time you feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do, don't suffer in silence. Remember that you may simply need a boost to get unstuck or to find the appropriate solution. Then ask despite your fears, and focus on the rewards of learning from the experience.

Having a healthy approach help opens the door to much more than just the help you needed.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

I just got a new computer, which set into motion a sea change in my world. It feels as if I’ve moved into a huge new mansion with all kinds of fabulous things to explore. But first, there are lots of upgrades, compatibility issues and glitches to troubleshoot in order to get to that comfy, settled-in feeling.

And that is just one area of life! Some days it feels as if I am in a little canoe, paddling as fast as I can through a swift-running current of change that sweeps through every area of life, trying to stay focused and maintain perspective. Know what I mean?

This sea change of turbulence and movement is not confined to our electronic lives only. It is like a tsunami of information, technology, social and economic change that continues to expands as it sweeps though our lives. No area of life is exempt. For some, it has taken on the form of job loss and financial overwhelm; for others, it is showing up as a re-ordering of priorities in relationships or a crumbling of the dreams you’d had for your life.

People everywhere are looking for ways to manage the swelling tide of change: they look for better time management, financial management, relationship management, weight management, career management, and more.

The fact is, though, we cannot ‘manage’ any of those things. We don’t manage time. Time simply clicks by, second by second, whether we do anything or not. What we do manage is ourselves and our choices in every given moment.

We are the ones choosing what to do and be involved in. And so, the most important thing we can manage is ourselves! How, then, can we best manage ourselves during these dynamic times of shift and change? Here are seven tools for self-management:

1. Know Your Priorities.
Do you know what the top values and priorities in your life are? Are you clear on the purpose of your life? Are you clear on what you want to accomplish and what is needed to get there? Only after you know these things can you choose appropriate action that will carry you toward your purpose.

2. Focus On The Big Picture.
When we feel overwhelmed, our focus tends to narrow down until we have a myopic view of life in which we seem awfully small and insignificant against the intimidating demands of life. It’s the ant and the elephant syndrome. Argue for your limitations, and they will surely become insurmountable obstacles. Focus on your problems, and they are sure to expand.

Instead of focusing on all the worrisome details of your life, try moving your perspective to a higher viewpoint from where you can see the big picture. I often use a guided visualization with clients where they soar high above their problems on the wings of a giant eagle. This exercise helps them to pull out of the immediacy of their surroundings and to gain a broader perspective.

3. Look For The Message.
The painful symptoms in our lives are messengers to remind us that something is off balance, misaligned, or no longer constructive. Instead of numbing these messengers in your life with medication or denial, you may want to take a look at what is causing the frustration or pain. What choices did you make to bring you to this place? Were your choices based on limited knowing, resulting in limiting outcomes? You will become a lot more constructive when you stop looking for someone to blame and acknowledge that you have the power to bring about the very change you desire.

4. Choose Again.
When you see the process that led you to this place, you are free to choose to move into a new direction. Remember, one of the greatest gifts God gave us is the ability to choose. You can choose to manage yourself appropriately by aligning more and more with your true values, so you can be carried forward on the current of instead of fighting against it. Situations, choices and relationships that are no longer aligned with our values and priorities have served their purpose and deserve to be released with gratitude for the lessons they offered. When you cut the cords, you will also free yourself from the pain and frustration that comes from being out of alignment with your path.

5. Finish With A Flurry.
Ever watch how many people start a marathon, yet how few complete it? Anyone can start the race, yet the rewards go to the few who actually finish. Unfinished business clutters up our time, space and energy.
I've found that multi-tasking can be a trap. The more open projects there are, the fewer get finished and the less you are present to what may unfold in each moment.

When you multitask by texting while driving, you are not focused on the road. When you answer e-mail while spending time with your loved one, your behavior actually silently says, ‘You are not worthy of my full attention.’

If your top priority is worth doing, it is worth focusing on that project until it's done. There will always be smaller routine tasks to do, too, but being fully present to the task at hand makes you efficient and effective to bring it to completion. Doing that gives offers a sense of accomplishment.

6. Learn To Say No With A Smile.
Here is where most of us fail. We feel so guilty or pressured to oblige every demand for our time and resources, that we do not say no to those things that are not a matter of priority. Saying no to what is not essential, frees up your time, energy and resources for what truly matters. And no is a complete response – you do not need to justify your decision to anyone but yourself. Evaluate demands for your time and resources against your priorities. Then, say ‘yes’ when you can do so with a happy heart, and say ‘no’ without guilt. You will find yourself staying more buoyant in life’s current.

7. Keep It Simple.
In my own life, I have whittled down the process even more. Yes, I do have an overarching mission statement for my life and yes, I am clear in my intentions. However, to stay focused and effective, I also prioritize my involvement. Within the larger framework of my plan and purpose, I ask two simple questions to guide my choices:

• Is this essential to my survival, life or health right now? Everything else, no matter how important or pressing it seems, is secondary.
• Will this lead me closer to my ultimate truth and joy, or does it leave me feeling restricted and confined? Momentary discipline that moves you closer to your ultimate goal, is acceptable; anything that minimizes your true being is not.

There may still be days when you feel as if you spend all your time chasing after the endless demands of life. We all have those! As long as you use these tools to stay focused, the turbulence around you will not capsize your canoe.

Keep facing forward and keep paddling!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

The coming year will reshape the destinies of every human being on this planet. Simply stated, the forces guiding your life will make it a pivotal year of global and personal transformation.

Why? Because they are already doing that right now!

The essential question each of us should ask is, "How will the forces guiding my life affect me in the next year?"

Because whatever you are working on in your life, is already working on you.  Over the course of time, these forces will shape your life both on the surface and from within.

Nobody’s life is the same at the end of a year – any year - as it is at the beginning. You are building your life from the inside out even as it is working on you.  What are you planning to work on in the coming year?  Getting clear on the purpose and plan for your soul is essential because it will ultimately direct where you end up over the course of the next year.

Business philosopher Jim Rohn put it this way: "If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build, will end up building us."

These are some very profound lessons to be gleaned here.  

First is that life is a process, not a destination. Every year is simply a measure of life, a slice of the big picture. Instead of falling into the trap of reductionism and reducing life to a game of basic outcomes, why not become more conscious of the process, the journey?

After all, you are building a life, not just a year! The kind of life you build is going to be determined by the kind of goals and plans you work on, because they'll work on you.

And that's the second lesson: Your choice of goals and plans mean much more than just what you accomplish. You are choosing what you're becoming, too!

Deepak Chopra has said that the activities on the surface of our lives distract us from the deeper work of soul making. You do not need to caught up in the busy-ness of life to the detriment of your soul!  This year, resolve to see your life as a sacred process of soul making. Let that Higher awareness guide your vision of life’s journey. You are not meant to simply ACHIEVE something, you are here to BECOME something.  And that process happens along the way, not at some magical destination.

The third lesson is this: it's not just the good things we build that matter, it’s anything we build. They all work on us.

So if you use shame, blame, guilt or fear as building blocks for your life, that's what you’ll ultimately have. If you are avoiding the effort of introspection, personal honesty and spiritual alignment, you may think you're not building anything, but you are – and you’re not going to like the result, so why even go there?

On the other hand, if you build toward your highest potential, you facilitate the unfolding of your best life ever.

Reaching your highest potential is your soul's ultimate purpose, and it is revealed to you within the context of seeking to fulfill your highest potential, service and creativity.  Its beauty will radiate from your core when you seriously engage in the work of healing the wounded psyche by dispelling the stories of your past with Truth.

These are skills that need to guide your life now more than ever, for they will reveal the true blueprint of your life. They will direct your path, your purpose and your potential to bring about the highest unfolding of your life.

So if you’re going to build something in your life during the next twelve months, make it something that you like and respect. It'll make YOU someone that you like and respect!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

Everyone wants to be able to improve their lives in some way: to heal something, to start something new, to find their soul purpose. As long as we are alive, this process continues. Everyone has a next step waiting to be taken, and everyone – absolutely everyone – has trouble accomplishing it. In fact, we spend an inordinate amount of time making up reasons and excuses for not moving forward!

Being stuck can be extremely painful. The desire you have to change a habit or improve your life comes from your soul. When you do not move forward with it, you block the very expression of your soul. The frustration that accumulates over time because of dysfunctional patterns of self-sabotage merely represents the surface issue.

Here are five practical guidelines to help you step into the greatness of your true potential:

1. Get Over The Fear Of Humiliation.

Most people are controlled by the fear of being humiliated. How do you get over the paralyzing fear of being humiliated and worrying about what others will say? By recognizing that your true locus of control is inside you. Looking outside yourself for approval, acceptance and love, is an ego trap. The fear of being humiliated by external forces is really based on pride. True commitment to the journey of your soul brings with it a deep sense of humility, along with the realization that your best is enough. When you no longer look outside yourself for approval and affirmation, you align with the true Source of your being. That relationship moves you to a place of deep inner honesty, humility and power because you identify with your true identity as a soul.

2. Recognize Which Reality You Live In.

Do you find yourself bargaining that you will get on with what you need to do as soon as the children are grown, or after you are out of debt, or once you get a new job? Are you dreaming of the life you’d love to have if only you had the money, time or resources? If so, you may be living in a fantasy world! On this planet, results come from matching vision with action, step by step. Instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, the question to ask yourself is, “What I am I doing in the meantime?”

Appeasing the yearning of your soul with empty rationalization and promises, is not enough. You need to start taking action to bring your life into alignment with the guidance you are being given, or else you are living in a fantasy world. If not, you may end up in guidance overload – overwhelmed, stuck or frustrated – and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself!

3. Guidance Overload.

Guidance overload comes from asking for help from too many people yet not acting on any of the information that you've stuffed into your energy field. When planning a change, it is normal to start gathering information for ways to move forward.

The trap lies in over-analyzing each piece of information or waiting for another, and another, piece to appear before taking action. This can move you into analysis paralysis or guidance overload, where there is too much information floating around in your mind, all triggering your fears, anxieties, limiting beliefs and memories of past trauma - and you don't know where to start. Guidance overload is also an indication of having given your power away to others instead of taking full responsibility for your life. It is not a happy place!

To break free from guidance overload, you need to go back to the beginning and start with the very first step that needs to be taken. When fear arises in response to that step, deal with it! Your greatest power lies in choosing your truth in the face of your fears. After you have taken the first step, you can ask for more guidance.

4. Become A Mystic In The Marketplace.

For many centuries, mystics lived on the fringe of society. They did not mix with the masses or participate in affairs of the world. This has all changed. Today, the level of consciousness on the planet has tipped the scales to offer potential for unprecedented growth and change. Spiritually awakened beings are being called to participate in this worldwide shift by becoming mystics in the marketplace - not on the mountain or in the monastery.

To answer the call, you need to learn how to commune with your soul to access the inner guidance that is stirring there. Every change that you wish to see in society, starts with you and the field of consciousness that you are holding. You are called to be the change you desire to see in the world, and you change the world around you through the power of your evolving soul as you hold the energy field of love wherein consciousness can evolve. In a world crying for healing, there is no greater service you can offer.

5. Find Appropriate Support For Each Stage of Growth.

Successful personal growth depends on being able to determine where your learning needs fine-tuning and then to support that with appropriate correction and feedback. Whether you need a new skill or a compassionate ear, listen to your needs and find appropriate support to ensure your success.

Collectively, these five guidelines can be very helpful to identify where progress may be stagnated in any area of your life, and to help you step into the greatness of your true potential.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached.

Did the past year deliver what you wanted? Did you attract the outcomes you really desired?

If life did not meet your expectations, perhaps it is time to prime the pump first!  Let me explain.

Most of us are looking for similar things in life: more time, love, joy, and quality of life.  What we sometimes forget, is that we first need to prime the pump in order to get what we want.

On my grandfather’s farm was a creaky old water pump.  Before it would start drawing water from the well, it had to be primed with a cup of water.  As a child, I used to marvel at the mystery of it all – first pouring a cup of water down the pump and then pumping the squeaky lever up and down, up and down… until a small stream of water would start running from the spout.  Once the stream started flowing, one could fill up as many buckets with water as needed, and it all started with the simple act of priming the pump with water first.

That water pump would not yield water unless it was primed with water – the very same substance that I desired from it.  I had to first contribute to the process the same substance that I desired to receive from it. In life it works the same way: we prime the pump of life with that which we contribute, and we attract that which we emanate. 

If we emanate lack, we cannot attract abundance and if we emanate anger, we cannot attract love.  Because like attracts like, we therefore need to first prime the pump by giving of that which we desire.

In the process, the very quality we focus on giving out becomes an integral part of our being. Just as that old water pump on the farm yielded as much water as desired after it was primed, a life that exudes love, abundance and joy, draws to it the same qualities in abundance.  

This New Year, instead of wishing for success, how about priming the pump instead with the very qualities you would like to see more of in your life!

Here are some ideas to get you started.  By practicing even just one of these principles consistently over time, you will find that life returns to you a bountiful measure of the same.

   1. I treat everyone in my life with the love and respect that I would receive from them.
   2. I believe it is more important to be loving than to be right, and I apply this in my life daily.
   3. I look for the beauty in every person and everything that crosses my path.
   4. I practice lovingkindness toward all sentient beings.
   5. I take steps to simplify my life so I can enjoy more with less.
   6. I find time to nurture my body, mind and soul, even if it is only a few minutes each day.
   7. I focus on what is right rather than what is wrong.
   8. I forgive those who have hurt me and let go of old wrongs so there may be peace on earth.
   9. I look for solutions, not for scapegoats.
  10. I find and express gratitude in my life each day.

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com