Articles

By Ada Porat

On a recent flight, I had an interesting conversation with a fellow passenger. She told me about the difficulties she was facing, having to return to the workplace after many years as a stay-at-home mom. She had been living off the insurance settlement from an accident, but recently had to drain this fund to cover medical expenses and she could no longer make ends meet.

Although she had been well-educated and successful in the workplace earlier in life, she now was at a complete loss about what to do. Should she return to teaching, or apply for a job in a bank, or just take a part-time job in real estate, she wondered. Clearly, she was confused.

I asked her what type of activities made her feel happy and alive.

“Oh, I love being with people, doing creative things, and being a part of the action,” she said.

I asked her if there were any opportunities in her home town where she could work with people doing creative things while earning a living.

“Oh yes,” she said, “There is a wonderful program at the Arts League that offers creative workshops. In fact, I volunteer there two days a week.”

She continued, enthusiastically telling me all about the innovative programs the league offered, and mentioned that they were looking for a new creative arts director.

“Have you applied for the position?’ I asked.

She looked at me with an expression of horror. “Oh no,” she said, “If I do that I’ll have to get up early in the morning – I could never do that any more. It’s too inconvenient!”

Clearly, there was something amiss with the priorities in her life. She felt stuck, yet every option she considered, was quickly dismissed as being too inconvenient, too low-paying, or lacking in some other area. She was victimized by her own confused priorities.

Our conversation left me reflecting on the confusion I so often observe in clients when they are faced with major decisions.

That confusion is rooted in a lack of clear priorities. When our needs, wants and desires all clamor to be met, we are often at a loss about what to do. In the confusion, it is easy give in to the desire for instant gratification and indulgence. Unfortunately, such choices do not bring long-term satisfaction or results.

Clearly, we need some guidelines for the important decisions in our lives.

The most important decisions in your life should be made not by what is convenient, but by what is appropriate. The appropriate decision may be downright inconvenient, yet it could be essential to moving forward. The passenger on the flight had all the skills for the position she described, yet she was not willing to move beyond her comfort zone to get out of her financial dilemma.

Being willing to face inconvenient truths and to take appropriate action, is an important first step. But how do you know what is appropriate for your situation?

The appropriate choice will always be aligned with your core values, not with the endless desires of the ego. It is your core values that drive your behaviors; they determine what you need to do, say or align with to ensure inner harmony. When your choices align with your core values, you will experience inner congruence even in the face of adversity because you are being true to your core.

Decision-making is actually easy when there are no discrepancies in your value system. To make empowering choices, it is necessary to understand your core values. Whenever your choices are not aligned with your core values, you will feel dissatisfied with the outcome in the long run. You will also find it difficult to stand your ground when the going gets tough, because you won’t be prepared to make sacrifices for things you don’t really believe in.

Here are some pointers for appropriate decision-making:

Recognize that every choice has an impact on your life.

Every decision either carries you toward your ultimate life purpose, or acts as a diversion. Ask yourself if your decision is taking you closer to your ultimate goal. If not, it is a distraction, no matter how good it feels or how much you want it! Releasing the distractions in your life will move you closer to your ultimate life purpose.

Discover your core values and honor them.

Your core values drive your behavior. Take time to identify the values that drive your life. Do you strive for honesty at all times, or is it more important for you to have harmonious relationships with others? Are you motivated by your inner truth, or by a sense of accomplishment? Defining your core values is one of the most important exercises you can do. Then, make choices based on your core values; not on shoulds, coulds, woulds, musts or wishes.

Always honor your integrity.

Place your integrity first, your needs second and your wants last. In such a priority system, your choices will honor the spiritual core of your Being. Alignment to your spiritual core acts as a powerful attractor field to draw into your life helpful people, synchronicities and situations. In this way, your needs will always be met! Christ gave his followers that assurance when He said, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Let your Higher vision clarify your intention.

Before making important decisions, take time to reflect on your ultimate intention. What is your true intention? Would your intended choice cause harm to others? (I am not referring here to upsetting their egos!) Remember that your soul is ultimately interested in your growth, not in maintaining your physical comfort zone. Alignment with Higher vision will give you a sense of inner peace and confidence; not necessarily convenience or comfort.

Get comfortable with change and chaos.

Change is an inescapable part of life, and it can be chaotic. There is no guarantee that making the appropriate choices will bring you instant reward or success. In fact, sometimes the choice to honor your inner truth will ruffle feathers around you! Honoring your truth may not be comfortable for some, because the light of truth tends to expose the dust bunnies of pretense and illusion.

Never mind! Ultimately, making the appropriate choice is its own reward. Living in integrity with your values aligns you with your Inner direction and the Source of your power. When you honor that Guidance in your daily decisions, life really rocks!

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
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