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Inspirational & educational articles on a wide range of life & personal growth topics to challenge & encourage you.

From Grumpy To Great

Ada Porat - Thursday, April 30, 2009
The teenager at the drive-thru repeated my order: one medium coffee with two creams, no sugar.

At the pick-up window, I confirmed:  “Two creams and no sugar, right?”

“Yes,” she assured me as she handed me the cup.  After pulling into the busy traffic, I took a sip and… you guessed it: no cream and at least two sugars!
 
Now, if you’re used to eating a lot of sugar you may not notice, but I’m not and I did notice. It was annoying – even more so because this was not the first time it happened.

I was on my way to an early morning appointment and could not turn back without running late, so I had a choice to make: was I going to become grumpy about the incidence and let it ruin my day, or was I going to look at it differently?

I decided to focus on what was going right instead: the rush hour traffic was flowing, the sun was shining, and there were many things in my life to be grateful for. I chose to give thanks for all the blessings in my life instead.  Soon I felt my spirits shift from irritation at missing that first cup of java, to feeling happy and at peace.

Forty minutes later, I approached my destination and noticed another fast-food outlet belonging to the same chain. I pulled up to order a drinkable cup of coffee.  When I explained the bungled order to the attendant, she smiled and said: “I’d hate for us to spoil your day – let me get you another cup on us.” 

Wow, what a concept, I thought. She is not getting defensive – she’s choosing to make amends instead! When I thanked her, she said: “I know you’ve got a right to be grumpy about the mistake, and I appreciate it that you weren’t. Have a wonderful day!”

In the span of less than an hour, my emotions had shifted from feeling annoyed to being grateful to feeling great!  And my state of mind had a positive effect on the attendant as well!

What happened here?  I’d be the first to tell you that I’m not a saint, so something else was going on here.

That something was the power of gratitude.

My sincere gratitude had activated the law of attraction to draw to me circumstances that resonated with the vibrational frequencies of what I was focused on, including this pleasant encounter.

You see, everything in the universe consists of energy with a vibrating mass of atoms and subatomic particles at its core. You and I also consist of energy, and each one of us projects into the universe energy vibrations based on our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. This frequency attracts to it resonant vibrational frequencies that determine the events, situations, and circumstances we eventually see manifest in our lives.

So what does this have to do with gratitude?  Everything!

When you are in a sincere state of gratitude, your vibrational resonance is one of acceptance and harmony. That vibrational frequency attracts to you events and circumstances that are harmonious with the high, positive state you are in.

To understand how this works, you can think of yourself as a giant magnet. Whatever emotions you are feeling - be it love, fear, anger, happiness, joy, or gratitude – the emotions you hold in mind create a magnetic force that draws to you events, conditions and circumstances in direct correlation to what you are feeling. Fear of something creates a magnetic force that ultimately attracts more of what you fear. Gratitude for any situation sets up a magnetic force that draws to you more of what you’re expressing gratitude for.  Like attracts like – just like that.

Whenever you’re not grateful for an aspect of your life, you are in essence resisting that aspect.  Your focus shifts to what you don’t want.  That focus on what you DON’T want, creates a vibrational field that draws to you more of what you don’t want or resist! That’s why whatever you resist, persists in showing up.

Gratitude, on the other hand, moves you into acceptance of whatever IS.  It is a powerful springboard that can catapult you into a positive frame of mind, because it focuses on what you appreciate instead of on what appears to be lacking. It is one of the most powerful antidotes to the narcissistic self-absorption and entitlement so prevalent in western society.

How in the world can you be in a state of gratitude when everything seems to be going wrong?

Perhaps the things that appear to be going wrong, are actually going very right… from a Higher perspective!  Here’s why:

The first step to personal freedom always starts with self-responsibility. To lose weight, for instance, you need to first accept the fact of what your current weight is; you have to accept the fact that whatever you have been doing up until now, has been your responsibility - even when it didn’t work. Acknowledging where we’re at is the first step toward change – both in twelve-step groups and in life.

The conditions and circumstances you're currently experiencing are manifestations based on thoughts and emotions you chose at some point in the past. There’s no blame or judgment here, there’s simply the need to accept responsibility for what you have manifested so far, whether consciously or unconsciously.  Remember, you are the one that thinks your thoughts - your thoughts do not think you!

In fact, you created everything you currently experience in your life. You may well consider how it has worked for you.  Not great?  Then don’t despair, because your powers of creation does not stop here…

Since you can (or perhaps did) create and attract undesirable outcomes, you can also create positive results by changing your thoughts and focus. You have tremendous creative potential and when you start consciously working with these principles instead of resisting them, your life will make a dramatic turn for the better.

Current experiences are merely guideposts showing whether you are creating the desired outcomes or whether you need to make some adjustments in your thought processes. Once you see this, you have a choice to make:  are you going to blame yourself or others for what shows up in your life, or are you going to acknowledge what doesn’t work, and choose differently than you did before? 

Before you get mad, please hold off a moment and consider what energy you are resonating through that choice: anger and negative self-talk is NOT the kind of energy that will attract the outcomes you desire!

Your perception of something going ‘wrong’ is only your perception, that is all.  Most often, it is a limited perception based on fear, false beliefs and limited understanding that lacks the Higher perspective to see how EVERYTHING unfolds in your life in perfect order for your personal growth and evolution.
 
From a Higher perspective, nothing EVER goes "wrong." Everything is continuously unfolding in perfect order for the purpose of your growth. Simplistic notions of right and wrong are based on a limited perspective, looking at life through the lens of duality where there are only two sides to a coin.  This is a limited Cartesian perspective that was disproved more than a century ago by the more advanced quantum physic understanding that we actually live in a holographic universe.  In this holographic universe, there are multiple points of view, all forming part of a perfectly evolving universe. 

Whatever point of view you adopt simply reflects your position in cosmic consciousness, and in no way reflects the whole. What you regard as ‘wrong,’ is actually a perfect expression of potentialities emerging from the energies you have put out there.

Everything in your life is a miracle you created, an expression of the potentialities you set in motion. When you learn to recognize that and express gratitude for everything, you will begin to see the life-changing power of gratitude at work, creating much more to be grateful for!

To see this at work, let’s return to the coffee experience. When my coffee order was botched, I was disappointed but I had a choice. 

Had my negative self-talk kicked in with something along the lines of “Oh no, they messed up again. Why do things like that always happen to me? I never get a break!" I would have acted on a negative perception that everything went wrong and my day was ruined. Based on that perception, I would have been correct, because that would have been the outcome I eventually created! Unless I’d been able to change that perception, I would have allowed myself to have a miserable day. In fact, my grumpy mood would have literally attracted events, conditions, and circumstances to ensure my day goes less than stellar.

On the other hand, I chose to not let the experience ruin my day.  Instead, I felt the initial disappointment, and then chose not to blame or indulge in self-pity. Instead, I acknowledged that I did not know all the reasons why the order got botched, and I chose to focus on more positive and productive thoughts instead. The end result was a harmonious vibrational frequency that soon attracted a positive outcome.

Do you see what I mean about perception? Same situation, same actor, different perception, different outcome.

The universe operates in holographic perfection; it doesn't perceive anything from the limited dualistic perspective of good or bad that you and I see; it simply creates outcomes based on your vibrational resonance. Your attitudinal response to everything in your life determines what shows up next. The biblical text expresses it this way, "As you sow, so shall you reap."

We cannot possibly control everything going on around us in the world; but we can and must control our responses to life if we are to bring about positive change. Developing an attitude of gratitude is one of the most important things that you can do to bring about meaningful change.

A powerful way to cultivate gratitude is to focus on what is REALLY happening in your life, rather than falling into the trap of drama and complaining. The basic practice of Naikan, the Japanese art of self-reflection, consists of asking oneself three questions every day:

“What have I received today?
What have I given?
What trouble have I caused?"

List the responses in three columns each night.  You’ll find that there are invariably much more in the receiving column than in the giving column!  We are indeed blessed despite the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Use these questions to cultivate gratitude for what is showing up in your life, forgive yourself for trouble you have caused, and make new choices from a place of gratitude.  You may just find your attitude changing from grumpy… to grateful… to great!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
This article may be freely distributed in whole or in part, provided there is no charge for it and this notice is attached. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit www.AdaPorat.com


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