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With every passing day, we are observing unsustainable practices crumbling in the socio-economic environment around us.  Systems built on misplaced values of greed and selfish advancement at any cost, are dissolving through internal collapse because the dissonance between them and their environments have become too big to gap: they are not able to re-invent themselves, or to adapt to the changes of the environments in which they operate.   

And because societies, companies and systems are made up of people, the same dissonance is reflected among individuals as well.  Look at the people around you and listen to what they have to say.  You’ll quickly learn that most people are not really enjoying life fully.  They are stressed out about one or more areas of life; feeling isolated; at a loss about what is happening in their world or what to do next; and afraid, very afraid. 

In fact, many people are trapped in no-win situations or environments that are not sustainable - in their careers, businesses, relationships, finances, health – because it holds no real purpose or meaning for them. 

And so they suffer as a result. Their spirits are dampened, their creativity blocked, their true self-expression suppressed and their lives mired in overwhelm, frustration, over-consumption, over-medication, isolation and apathy.

Are you one of them?

If this scenario strikes a chord, I want you to keep reading, because you are not alone!  It is time to realize what is really happening, so you can focus your efforts on restoring a healthy resonance between your inner life and your external environment.  By applying these principles to your life, you can move from apathy and inertia into creating a meaningful existence with life again.

If you have slipped into entropy, apathy or overwhelm, it is most likely not because you’re are a loser but because you are stuck in situations that hold no real meaning for you, environments that do not support your personal growth, or circumstances that have pulled out of alignment with your core values. 

To change it around, you need to first take a hard look at your external environment.  Even with great determination, skill and effort, your environment will win out in the long run.  I am reminded of this every spring when I observe how the desert sun in Arizona scorches the tender wildflowers as soon as they run out of moisture.  

You have an important part in designing your immediate environment because you have an on-going dialogue with it: you are continuously adapting to it (dressing for the temperature or adapting to the emotional atmosphere at work or home), while the environment is reflecting back who you are.  However, the adaptive process (over which you have most control) is fast, while the reflective process of your external environment takes more time – and this is very important to understand. 

When you start making changes in your inner world, your external environment may continue to reflect the old status quo for a while yet, creating a temporary sense of dissonance.  This is the process we are experiencing in society at large at present because the external environment is still reflecting back to us ways of operating that many of us have outgrown; it is also the cause of the dissonance you experience in your personal life when you have outgrown certain situations.

To regain harmony, you need to restore a greater sense of resonance between your external environment and your inner self.  To change your external environment, you may need to make a physical change to align with an environment that is more supportive of who you have become, who you are now. Perhaps you need to let go of friends who drag you down into old behavior, or you need to step out of an abusive relationship at work or home. 

For some people, making this change is asking too much.  They are too afraid of the unknown, afraid of the effort it may require of them. And so they stay in an unsupportive environment while complaining about it to everyone who’s willing to hear.  Remember, the environment will win out in the long run if you don’t do anything about it!

The next step is to change your internal relationship to your environment.  This is the most powerful aspect because you have complete power over your internal choices, whereas you have less influence over your external environment. This inner work is at the core of all personal growth.

Changing your internal relationship with your environment is going to take a lot of effort – there are no short cuts to glory here.  On the positive side, the payoff – increased peace, harmony, joy, energy, clarity, self-respect, personal empowerment, satisfaction and meaning in life – is its own reward!

To navigate the internal terrain, here are some aspects you need to address to restore resonance with your environment. 

Refocus

Refocus on your goals and the rules or values at your core. As you do this, an inner sense of integrity, empowerment, peace and meaning will return to your life. When there are no discrepancies in your value systems, decision-making will come easy and you will be able to align with environments that support instead of suppress your evolution.

Purpose

You are the only person who can define what your life needs to look like to feel successful and to be meaningful.  For a moment, imagine you are at the end of your life, reviewing the life you’ve just lived.  What is the single most important accomplishment in your life?  What is the core accomplishment or experience that makes or would make your life a life well lived? What is it that one thing you wish to create, experience, do or have?  When you connect with the deepest desire at the core of your being, it will bring focus and impact to everything else you do.

Clarity

Next, what are the things in your life that bring your joy?  Even if you can think of just one thing, reflect on it until you see why it brings you this sense of joy.  Is it playing with your dog because it makes you feel unconditionally loved; or spending time nurturing family members where you feel that you are making a valuable contribution?  Identify what brings you joy and why; then start looking for ways to nurture more of that in your life.  When there is clarity around what brings joy – and therefore meaning - to your life, you will enjoy the effort of working toward it, instead of feeling overcome by inertia.

Awareness

Observe animals in the wild and you will notice how fully present they are in each moment.  For them, it is a matter of life or death.  For you and me, the process ultimately leads to the same outcomes and yet we are not always aware of it. Each moment of our waking lives, we make choices that either move us toward a fuller expression of life or deaden the life force in us.  To make optimal choices, it is essential for us to become fully present and aware in each moment.

Stay present

Stay present in the moment; discipline your mind and bring it back when it wanders off into a future fraught with hypothetical scenarios of fear and uncertainty (“What if I lose my job?,”  “What if I get cancer?,” etc.)  Fact is, the future is not created yet and by letting fear-filled thoughts run rampant in your mind, you are creating probabilities that do not serve you well!  Likewise, ruminating about the events of yesterday serves no purpose other than distracting your focus and draining your energy.  At the end of each day, do a thorough self-inspection of the events of that day; forgive those who have hurt or let you down; ask forgiveness for those areas where you have not lived up to your highest potential; resolve how you are going to make different choices around those issues so as not to repeat the same cycle; and then let them go. Stay in the present – this is the only time where you can bring about meaningful change.

Be resourceful

When faced with the challenges of life, don’t limit your options.  Choose to respond differently; choose to find more than one way of looking at things.  Broaden the scope of your perceptions to include possibilities you may not have entertained before.  Consider all the options you can think of before narrowing down your choices – you’d be amazed at how this simple exercise opens up the possibilities!

Banish self-judgment and negative self-talk

When you indulge in self-judgment and negative self-talk, you are really replaying the old tapes of others’ criticism and judgments that you have internalized.  These behaviors are really self-destructive forms of attack.  Stop it!  You would not think of attacking the Divine Presence in you, so why would you attack the human aspects that need healing? Healthy introspection acknowledges limitation and failure without judgment, and offers you the opportunity to change behaviors that no longer serve you.

Maintain respect

If your actions were made public, would you retain your self-respect?  Society commonly condones acts of greed and dishonesty, as long as the perpetrator does not get caught. Tolerating such lack of integrity undermines respect for self and others. Do only that which you would respect in another, and that which you would not mind being made public.  When you maintain respect, you are strengthening the foundations of your life.

Keep playing

The game of life is not over until the final breath.  Don’t give up at half-time or because you’ve just fumbled the ball.  Don’t let one bad move knock you out of commission – get back in and give it your best!  Change the things that don’t work and focus on what does work.  Give thanks for the breaks along the way and keep at it until the final moment!  Miracles and breakthroughs often come at the most unexpected times, but you have to be in the game to benefit from it.

Take time to address the aspects in your personal life and environment that need support. Working with even just a few of these aspects will help you restore a sense of resonance between your inner life and your external environment so you can be the difference our world needs now!

©Copyright Ada Porat.
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