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Asking for help is not something we do naturally. Instead, we often choose to ignore pain, hope for a better day, or wish for a miracle... while avoiding the core issue! 

Reaching out for help may feel like a cop out - the way of the weak. In a society that worships power, needing help can be associated with vulnerability, weakness or shame; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.

In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. If you have already tried everything you know and the situation has not shifted, you may need external input.

We all have strengths in some areas and challenges in others. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.

Life is about learning and growth – and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.

When you reach out and ask, you are acknowledging the interconnectedness of life. You also open up to the possibility that help is available and that there are answers out there, often exceeding your highest hopes! Here's how to get help when you feel stuck:

The help you need is more likely to arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?

Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.

It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support you and strengthens interpersonal ties.

When you ask for help, you open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, you expand your own growth and awareness.

By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, you reclaim your power! Your greatest gifts lie just beyond the things you fear the most – so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions.

Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how  to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:

Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain vast amounts of energy and resources.

Recognize that you deserve a helping hand. We are all in the school of life together, and when you ask for help, you are offering others an opportunity to demonstrate what they have already learned. In supporting one another, we all benefit and grow.

Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, you’ll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.

Go to someone you trust. If they don’t have the answer, they’ll likely know someone who does.

Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, “I need your help.” Simple and to the point!

Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you don’t understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.

Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, you’ll benefit!

When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might be able to pass along the information to someone else in need.

The next time you feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do, don't suffer in silence. Remember that you may simply need a boost to get unstuck or to find the appropriate solution. Then ask despite your fears, and focus on the rewards of learning from the experience.

Having a healthy approach help opens the door to much more than just the help you needed.

©Copyright Ada Porat. For more information, visit www.adaporat.com
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